Blessings of the Heart

Wow!  Christmas is coming around the corner quickly.  I still can't believe the difference from last year until now.  I was doing some figuring earlier in the week for my Calligraphy business.  Looking at totals for the end of the year and comparing them to last year.  I have a print out of my monthly totals from the beginning of my business in 2005.  It helps me to project a pattern and see what kind of month I will have.  I printed off last months sales report and about fell over.  I dug out my monthly totals and about fell over again.

Last year my business stopped - I mean stopped in the months of Sept - Nov.  My totals hadn't been that low since I first started.  If you remember, I was so distraught.  You can read about that here.  And here.  And the last part of this blog, here.  Ya - it was rough.

I learned so many things last year.  Mostly I would sum it up by saying that I learned to simplify.  Not that we have EVER had enough cash flow to be crazy at Christmas so it's not so much about simplifying stuff as it was about simplifying my heart.  My attitude.  Giving from the heart - not just giving to give.  Using my funds to help others in the process (enter ApParent Project).  Not getting caught up in the commercialism. Not giving in to the pressures to spend on things we don't really need, just to have something under the tree.

I see even more now, a year later, that God put me there.  I look at my monthly figures from last year and I see how He made everything stop.  It wasn't a coincidence.  It wasn't just a bad year for me.  In spite of the decrease during those months, my business still did better than the year before.  God had to strip all the "extra" away.  To keep me from the busyness of work so I didn't have so much to do - in order to get my attention.  To open my eyes to Haiti - to the world around me.  I kicked and screamed and cried and pouted and took all of you though my emotional roller coaster. It was hard.

My friend, Emily, asked me last year - "What will you do next year if you have the cash flow again?  Will you go back to the same patterns?"  (Don't you love friends that make you think?)  I couldn't answer her last year.  I wanted to be able to emphatically say no - but how quick and easy we can get sucked back into our sinful attitudes.  Hmmmmmm - what was this year going to bring?

Well, I can answer her now.   Emily - for this year - the answer is no.  God did a major heart change in me last year.  Even more so than I understood until Christmas began to come around again.  I printed off my sales reports this week and the months of Sept - Nov. of this year have had record highs!  I mean ridiculous numbers - like more than double what I have EVER done.  You cannot tell me that God is not in that!  It's like He stopped everything, got my attention and then January hit and I have been blown away with business all year.   I fully expected things to slow down again because they always do a little.  But no! He gives and takes away.  This year will be a record year for me and I honestly believe it is because of my obedience from last Christmas.  Please know that I am not saying that I have it all together - I'm just trying to testify of the consequences - the blessings that come from being right where you need to be and being teachable.  Not an easy thing for any of us.  I like to call them Blessings of the Heart.  Because when your heart is changed - everything else is too.

And the wonderful thing is - He's not done yet.  I still have a trip to Haiti around the corner.  More things to learn.  I'm so thankful that God is not finished with me yet.  I'm so thankful that when He looks at me, he sees the already finished product and He continues to take the time to get me there.  Even with all of my kicking and screaming.  Change is NEVER easy.  It's NEVER comfortable.  Having a mirror held up to you revealing your ugly, sinful, bratty self - ya - NOT pretty.  But if we stand there - look really hard - repent of it - grieve it - and allow God to come in and put His fingerprints all over us, we will one day see what He sees.  And every once in a while, He does give us a glimpse of that now.  He loves us people!!!!

I say all of that to hopefully encourage you.  Especially if you are going through your own trial right now.  God does see that finished product and He knows us - He knows our personalities - He made us for goodness sakes!  He knows EXACTLY what it is going to take to get us to that finished product.  Again - this is our journey.

If you are going through a trial - embrace it.  Be thankful for it. Know that God is working in you to mold you and shape you into the person that He needs you to be.  How is best going to fulfill our ultimate purpose - to bring Him Glory!  It's all about Him anyway.  Not us.

Trust His plan - rest in his purpose.  Know that you are in good hands and when it's over - it's going to be AWESOME!!!!!

This year is going to be awesome.  We have continued to scale back - our Christmas will not be quite as simple as last year but there is an attitude change.  The pressure is off and we are thoroughly enjoying the season.  I have never felt so relaxed about Christmas.  So at peace. God is so good.  We have re-evaluated our giving and this year our gifts are focusing on things that are needed as well as time together as a family.  Anne and I are having a "girls day" and are going to the Nutcracker Ballet this weekend.  The money that would have been spent on gifts for Russ and I is going towards a family vacation in North Carolina between Christmas and New Year's.  We have found a place tucked away in the mountains free of TV and other distractions so we can focus on family time.  We are all a bit giddy!  We have a few other things up our sleeves but I will reveal them after Christmas.  Let's just say it has to do with getting away more often and making family memories on a regular basis again.  If you know me well - it won't take you long to guess.  It was my husband's suggestion - He's so awesome! 

I look forward to continuing to share my journey with you.  I hope to encourage you along the way as I tell of all that God is going to do in my life in 2012.  I'm so excited!   I pray that you are too.........

Awesome Concept.......

This is a MUST WATCH!  I LOVE IT!!!!


Advent Conspiracy from International Justice Mission on Vimeo.

This is My Journey

Wow!  Time has flown since I last posted.  I had my ApParent Project Open House, then we went to Sasha's for Thanksgiving and now we have rolled right into December.  The end of the year is quickly approaching!

My Open House was a success!  I also did a Bazaar at my Brother's church, a Fall Festival at the kid's school and word is continuing to spread!  Thinking about having another Open House for those who couldn't make it.  It may be a lot easier to spread it all out at once then having people come and go through it all individually. I will let you know.  So excited about the continued response though!  So far, I have well over $2000.00 to send to Haiti!  You guys are amazing!

I love this picture that Shelley posted on Facebook last night.  Her caption was, "This is the ApParent Project".  Love that the artisans are sitting around the table working and this chubby, healthy little one is sitting right in the middle of it all.  That's what it is all about!  Helping these beautiful people not only survive - but thrive!

I simply cannot wait to meet them!!!!  You know, I spend a lot of time talking about Shelley and about helping the artisans but I believe that they should get some credit too.  They are stepping out and breaking the cycle of dependency.  They are changing their lives with this opportunity.  They are working hard to change their lives - in a place that seems impossible to do so.  They are amazing to me.

Last summer when Shelley posted pics of the Christmas Tree Garland they were working on, I knew instantly that I would have some on my tree this year.  Our Christmas Tree is one of those "hodge-podge" trees.  A little of everything.  Remember the old Hallmark commercial where the kids are in the attic going through the ornaments and each one they pull out has a story behind it?  Yup - that's us.  Russ and I both have special ornaments from our childhood and then we began collecting them together starting with one from Jekyl Island, where he proposed.  So every year when we go somewhere new, or something special happens in our lives - we get an ornament to "mark the occasion".  It's so fun to pull them out each year and remember.  This year we added a ballerina, a smore playing the guitar (scout camp and guitar lessons rolled in one!), two ornaments from my trip to New Hampshire - and my ApParent Project ones.  Each one was special but I have to tell you that when I strung the garland on my tree, I stood back and just wept.  They were happy tears.  I was so full of joy - so thankful for all that God had done between last Christmas and now because of ApParent Project.  My life is forever changed because of the vision he has given me.  A vision beyond myself and my own little world.  A vision beyond the comforts of the United States.  God is so gracious toward us.  It meant so much to hang it on my Christmas Tree and know that it is now part of our "story" - part of us.  Part of me.

This week at BSF we have been studying Hebrews.  The beginning of Chapter 4 talks about entering God's rest.  The rest of salvation and also the sabbath rest (a day off). Obedience brings rest in our lives.  Disobedience is sin and brings turmoil, chaos, consequences.  Sometimes turmoil and chaos are also a result of our obedience.  But the difference is - we can "rest" in the turmoil.  We can "rest" in the chaos.  We can have joy because we know we have been obedient and we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Easy? No.  But still truth just the same.

Last year the Lord purposely brought me through turmoil in order to teach me things.  I knew He was up to something big in my life - so even in the craziness, I had a peace.  I sit here, a year later, in His rest.  My tree is up, the Christmas cards are already in the mail, most of my gifts are purchased or made and Christmas music is playing.  I am excited again about Christmas and all that it brings.  This is probably the first time I have ever entered the month of December and not felt stressed. Ah - the peace of Christmas.

Many things have happened in my life over the past 10 - 15 years and if you follow my blog regularly, you know that I believe firmly that everything - EVERY. THING. - happens in our life for a reason.  A lesson for us, for those around us, to grow us, to shape us.  Our job is to look for that reason - that purpose - and allow God to do His work in it.  So often, we get a little uncomfortable and we begin to resist - to fight - when really we need to rest.  Trust. 

I get so upset with my children when they don't trust me.  They question a decision I have made - continually try and get me to change my mind.  The decision has been made because I know the bigger picture - I know that we are going to do something different - something better!  Or I am protecting them from danger - not trying to keep them from having fun.  Each time I get upset, the Lord whispers to my heart and says, "You are just like them." Ouch!   I cannot rest in His answer.  I am impatient.  I want what I want - what I think is best.  And all the while He is loving me, protecting me, planning something better.  My kids drive me absolutely batty when this happens.  There are raised voices involved!  It's not always never pretty! I'm so thankful that God is such a gracious, loving and patient Father when it comes to us.

So, I say all of this to say that I realized this week that I have had a new attitude.  It's kind of crept up on me.  Isn't God good how He slowly begins to change your heart and mind until something becomes a normal, natural thinking process?  It can only be a God thing because by nature we kick and scream and fight for our way.  But lately I've found myself saying, "Well, this is my journey."  Meaning that whatever happens in my life - good or bad - well, it's my journey.  All of it is part of His plan - the plan He had for me before I was even created.  The plan He had to bring me closer to Him.  Isn't that what I want anyway?  Why fight it?  Why kick and scream?  Why complain?  Is it hard sometimes?  Yes.  Is it exciting sometimes?  Absolutely.  But it is what it is.  And I would rather walk in it and "rest" than fight.  Because when we are fighting it - when we are complaining about it - when we are worried or panicked or anxious over something - we are not being useful to Him.  He puts things in our lives so that we can bring glory to Him.  When we don't do that we are sinning.  Period.  God has allowed it - so complaining about it - having a huge pity party over it - does nothing but draw attention to ourselves - not God.

Please don't misunderstand me in that I'm NOT saying that we cannot be angry or sad - or grieve our circumstances.  Or talk it out with a friend.  I have to talk out loud (or write) to process.  God knows that about me already.  That is normal - that's being human.  We all have expectations of how we think something should be or should have been.  But how often are those expectations ever met at 100% ?

What is happening to me now is that beyond all my life circumstances - beyond my own human and often roller coaster of emotions - I know that nothing surprises Him.  NOTHING.  The good, the bad, the horrible telephone call we may receive, the yucky sin that we commit.  Nothing.  We can trust Him.  We can "rest" in Him.  And He will walk with us on our journey - being right there to hold us tight when we need held, to encourage us when we need encouraged, to cry with us when we are sad and to smile when we are happy.  You see, He loves us - oh!  How He loves us!  More than we can EVER comprehend.  And I am beginning to live my life with less and less expectations - because I can rest in Christ and know that whatever He has for me is the ABSOLUTE best for me anyway.

Stepping Out......

Okay so I'm having another wave of giddy excitement!  It's official - I purchased my ticket last night!  No turning back!!!

On February 6 -  I will be on one of these

To meet these lovely artisans:

And this lovely woman and her family:

 Shelley Clay

And more of the fabulous artisans:

Who work really hard to make all of this fabulous stuff:

I simply cannot wait!!!!!

And yet, I'm terrified at the same time.  I guess that is what faith is all about, right?  Stepping out of our comfort zone into the unknown that God has for us. I know that it is going to be ridiculously hard and awesome at the same time.  But God is good and He has a Great Plan!!!  Please pray with me that the Lord will continue to work in my heart and my mind to prepare me for what He has for me.  I don't want to have any expectations - I just want to go and soak it all in - no matter how difficult or how awesome it is.  There is a crazy restlessness in me right now.  I know God is up to something BIG and I know this trip has a lot to do with it.  Can't wait to tell you all about it.  In the meantime - just pray.

February 6 - 13

Thanks!!!!

Oh!  And if you want to see all this fabulous stuff up close and personal - come to my Open House. 

Click here for ALL the details!

Heartline Ministries - Haiti

God is working.  All the time.  Everywhere.

I shared with you a few days ago about Heartline Ministries in Haiti and how they work to provide the women and children in their community a safe place to learn about Jesus and life skills.  One of the many ways that they accomplish this is through their Maternity Center.

I follow closely three of the families that work for Hearline and each has their own blog and unique way of telling the behind the scenes stories of what goes on day to day with the women that they minister to.  Recently, Tara Livesay posted a list (along with photos) of women in their program who where going to deliver their babies soon.  She asked us to pick one or all and pray for them.  For some reason, the Lord laid Esther on my heart.  Tara had posted several days before that Esther was terrified of giving birth because her sister had died during child birth. I remember being terrified myself when I was pregnant with Jarod and I have all the latest technologies accessible to me.  I can't even imagine having a baby in their environment.  Anyway - I prayed fervently for her and kept up with her through blogs and Facebook posts.

Tonight I clicked open one of the blogs and read this:

"Esther, a young girl in our program called that her water had broken.  We waited for labor.  While we did her blood pressure rose to dangerous levels, meds were started and she eventually delivered her baby with us.  She hemorrhaged after the birth.  More blood than I had ever seen at a birth.  We knew, she knew, both she and baby would have died if she had delivered at home.  We used many medicines, and highly skilled midwives saved her life.

Esther sat with Agathe and gave her life to Christ before going home a few days after the birth.  She knew God had saved her.  She came to program Tuesday holding her baby proudly, sitting in class, glad to be alive and breast feeding her newborn.    Two lives saved."

I sat and sobbed..........  To read the rest of this blog (it's amazing) click here.

I don't see how you can read things like this and it not affect you. Not open your eyes to the world beyond what you are sitting in and see how God is at work - doing amazing things - constantly.

Tonight I am thankful.  I may be sitting hundred's of miles away, but I can pray for these women.  And I am watching the Lord answer those prayers "Exceedingly abundantly above all we can imagine." (Eph 3:20)

Thank you ladies of Heartline for allowing us to be a small part of your journey. And thank you for continuing to blog and post these amazing miracles that happen each and every day.  May the Lord continue to bless your ministry and give you peace, courage and stamina to keep going.

From One Christmas to Another

This time last year I was a mess.  I can't even begin to describe to you all that was going on in my heart and my mind.  This excerpt from a blog post on Nov. 15, 2010 will give you an idea.  Feel free to click through and read the rest as well......

"Though There's Pain in the Offering"

My mind is swirling with things tonight and so I thought I would sit down and try to put them in order.  So - bear with me as I "listen to myself".

The Lord is definitely working in my heart, although I'm not quite sure what to do with it yet. We are extremely tight this year as far as Christmas goes.  The thought of purchasing gifts is overwhelming.  All I know is - I want to make them count!  I want to use what money I do have for something eternal.  Not to sit in my own little family huddle - but reach out and help others who truly have NEEDS.  I don't want to think twice about giving to others.  I've been praying for the last several months that the Lord would make me a generous giver.  I'm sure that is where all this is coming from.  I want to be able to just give and not think twice about it.  But I want my gifts to be eternal - to meet a need.  I don't want to think "Oh - but if I give that money away - or -  if I spend my money on them, then I can't pay for...."  I just want to give - cheerfully.

That post - led to this one: 

I Get it!

Little did I know at the time how much of an impact all of that would have on my life. I sit here, a year later, reading over those, being weepy (cause that's just who I am) and being so very thankful for where God has brought me in the last year.

 

I felt like such a Scrooge last year and I couldn't figure out why.  As Christmas began to approach this year, I realized I had begun to brace myself at bit - not knowing how I was going to respond to it all.  Last year money was ridiculously tight and we couldn't even understand or figure out why.  It was very strange.  I didn't have the desire to purchase one single thing.  I had absolutely no ideas on what to get anyone - I always have ideas.  Last year - nothing.  Zip.  It was the strangest thing.  At one point I even said, "If someone where to hand me $1000 to go purchase gifts, I wouldn't even know what to do with it."  

 

Looking back on all of that now - a year later - I can honestly say it was all a "God thing" as I call it.  God brought me to that place and held me there.  Today I understand why.  I honestly and truly believe that it was all about ApParent Project.  It was about opening my eyes beyond myself - beyond my little world  -  and discovering a new place where God wanted to plant my heart.  A place for me to serve - even in a small capacity, from a distance - a place for me to go beyond myself.  A place for me to get to know and understand more about the poor, the broken, the "least of these".  

 

When I started doing this last year, it began as a Christmas project. Something for ME to invest in - something to help ME feel better about my Christmas spending.  It began - as most things do - about ME.  But as the year has progressed, it has gone beyond me.  It has infiltrated itself deep within my heart as I have begun to see the artisans as real people.  As I have heard their stories, learned more about them from Shelley's blog and Facebook posts,  it has progressed from faces on the jewelry tags to genuine people with real stories.  It's no longer about me - it is about them. And I am excited (and terrified) as I plan for my trip to Haiti in February, to know that it will become all the more real when I actually meet these wonderful people in person.  

 

So I sit here a year later being blown away at how far God has brought me.  I know that I am on the right path.  I am exactly where He wants me to be regarding all of this and that is so freeing.

 

As we enter Christmas this year, I can honestly say that I am excited!  God has answered so many prayers from last year.  I began shopping early, as I've had many fun ideas (which I know have come from the Lord) and a lot of my gifts are already purchased.  My cards are done and stamped and waiting to go out once December gets here.  We will put up our Christmas Tree on Thanksgiving weekend and I will decorate it with ApParent Project ornaments and tree garland.  I already have my cookie baking on the calendar and I have been listening to a little Christmas music.  I'm almost giddy about it!  Hee! Hee!  I honestly feel like my old self again - only with a deeper understanding of Christmas.  Things will never be quite the same as before. And for that I am thankful.

 

As you know I am a firm believer in God allowing things in our lives for a reason.  He brought me to my crazy emotional, messed up place last year, so He could bring me back to my excited, celebrating self this year with a NEW purpose and a NEW reason to celebrate.  With a new outlook on the world around me. It's NEVER about ME.  It's always ultimately about Him - I'm just along for the ride.  I'm so thankful that I was willing to do the soul searching it took last year. I am thankful for His grace and His mercy on my life. That He takes me to new and hard places so that I can grow and become more like Him.

 

Obedience is always hard - always scary - but ALWAYS worth it!  There is no other place I'd rather be than right smack where He wants me.

 

Until next time......

ApParent Project and Other Cool Stuff

In case you haven't noticed by now, I am passionate for ApParent Project and the people in Haiti.  I have had several opportunities to sell the jewelry already in the last several weeks and I have more coming up.  One thing I wanted to tell you about was my Open House.  Many of you ask how you can buy some of these wonderful creations - especially on my side of town.  Well, Russ and Jarod are going camping with the Scouts in a few weeks and I'm having an Open House.

ApParent Project Christmas Party

Drop In - Open House

Nov. 18 & 19

Cami's House

3036 Twin Oak Drive South

Middleburg, FL 32068

(904) 703-1608

Need to do a little Christmas Shopping? What better way to spend your money than to help support Haitian Families!

Join me for an ApParent Project Christmas Party and we will have a fun night of food, fellowship and shopping!

I have necklaces, bracelets, earrings, Christmas ornaments, garland and much, much more!

If you have only seen photos on my blog and Facebook - come by and check it out!

Friday, November 18

Drop in any time between 6:30 and 9:00 PM

Saturday, November 19

Drop in any time between 10:30 am and 2 pm

I promise you will NOT be disappointed! Come and see how these artisans turn recycled cereal boxes into beautiful jewelry you will want to wear!

I also have metal works! Custom made crosses, nativity scenes and even more jewelry!

100% of the money from each purchase goes directly to the Haitian artisan who made the piece. Helping to keep families together and pay for children's education.
If you have been following my blog - you've read all about ApParent Project. If you need more info see this site:http://www.apparentproject.org/index.html

Prices range from $5 - $25

Please RSVP or call me @ (904) 703-1608 

Feel Free to Bring Friends!!!!! Spread the word!!!!!

I have a HUGE variety of things.

 

Another Opportunity coming up is the

Holiday From the Heart Bazar at Hillcrest Baptist.

Tuesday, November 29 · 5:30pm - 8:30pm

I will have a booth there and Amanda Andrews and Sam (my sister in Law) will be helping out. 

Tickets are now on sale for the annual Ladies Holiday from the Heart Bazaar. Join us for this fun time of fellowship, Shopping extravaganza, Arts & Crafts, Professional Products, Baked & Homemade Foods, Delicious Dinner...and Door Prizes!!!! You can purchase tickets through any of the admins on this event. Ticket are $9.00 If you need more information please contact the church office at 904-779-9033

I hope you will be able to come to one of these events and help support Orphan Prevention through ApParent Project!

 _____________________________________________________________

I recently read this article and wanted to pass it along.  It is amazingly eye opening!  And I am so thankful for the people at Heartline Ministries who are trying desperately to change this type of situations for women.


I want to give you links to two of my favorite blogs.  These women work with Heartline in Haiti and they are amazing!!!!

You've heard me talk about Heather Hendrick before.  She works for Heartline and is an amazing writer. She is so very transparent.  Bookmark her blog - go back often. You will NOT be disappointed - I promise.

This recent post is a MUST read!

Grace: God is the Writer of Our Stories

The other one is Tara Livesay.  She also works for Heartline and shares often the day to day stuff that they deal with.  Also amazing.  You will NOT be disappointed!  She also works in the maternity center and often posts about the women and how we can pray for them.  It has been such an honor and a privledge.  And it has truly opened my eyes to the MANY struggles women have in Haiti.  We, here in America don't have a clue!

Saturday Labor

I hope you take the time to read these.  You cannot help but be affected.  God continues to open my eyes and my heart to Haiti - I am so excited about going in February.  I hope to meet these ladies from Heartline as well. 

Until next time.....