Growing Pains

Parenting is hard.

I mean, really hard.

When they are young, you are tired.  You are watching them closely.  Guiding, directing.  You have the constant responsibility of making sure they are fed, had enough sleep.  That they are polite to others and learn to share their toys.  You answer a million questions a day.  All the "whys".

There were days that I swore if I heard "Mommy" one more time - I would change my name or even run away!

It's so much easier to blog when they are younger.  They do so many cute things to make up for the crazy and everyone relates to you.  It's not so easy when they are older.

Now there is this fear that you are sharing too much - embarrassing them.  Putting things out there that they may not like becoming public knowledge.  And maybe you don't either because you feel like you blew it in the parenting department.  It makes it so much harder to write about.


As we are in the middle of the teenage years - and the beginning of High School - there are so many things that I could talk about but don't.  Those bone-headed things that teenagers do - and our boneheaded reactions.  When will I ever learn to respond rather then react?????

In the beginning I was holding tight - now  I'm letting go.  This stage is by far - the hardest.

Seriously.

It involves more faith and trust than I often feel that I have.

I've been here a lot lately - thus the fact that my last blog entry was from July!

This stage also involves so much more prayer.  Well - not that I didn't pray a lot before but I guess I felt like, because they were still so little, I had more control.  And I guess I did to some degree.

Now my prayer life consists of a lot more begging and pleading.  Asking God to give me the strength to let go and trust him with my son - AND asking Him to protect and guide him since I am no longer with him 24/7.  He is becoming his own person with his own thoughts and opinions.

The things that I see in him involve the heart.  And unfortunately, often it is easy to focus on the negative.  The things that you know need to change - but that change can only come from God working in his heart.  Not his mom giving him a lecture.

For the past several months, I have been really praying that God would draw him in.  And that he would grow his faith.  This is probably one of the most scariest prayers because I look back on my own life and I know that my faith grew/grows the most in trials and difficulties.  No one wants to watch their child go through difficulties. We want to protect them from them.  But - is that really helping them? 

Jarod was handed a huge blow this week.  I won't go into details in order to keep his privacy and because this involved another family and I don't want to distract from their great loss.  But I will say that I knew immediately that this was part of what I had been praying for.  I also learned that this wasn't just about Jarod's faith growing - but mine as well. 

As I sat many times crying with him this week, I just continued praying that God would use this in his life.  

I watched him grieve - but I also watched him stand tall and do the difficult things that he never had to do before.  I heard from others how Jarod had affected them positively and the impact he made.  I learned what an encourager he is to his friends and I could see how God has been using him.  I watched how he would analyze a situation before getting involved.  How he had the wisdom to speak up or stay quiet when needed.

He handled this with such strength and maturity for a 15 year old.  As I watched, I could see God working.  I could see God using him.  I could see God growing him.  I could see God answering my prayers and for a brief moment - letting go didn't seem so scary.

When Jarod was entering Pre-K and I was scared out of my mind - (Pre-K - ugh!  I knew NOTHING! LOL)  God spoke to my heart and said, "Cami, trust me with him.  The things I am allowing for him (good AND bad) are so he will become the man I need him to be later."

I go back to that nugget constantly as I pray that I can completely trust God with my son.  Knowing that no matter what comes his way - it has a greater purpose.  And God loves him far more than I ever can - and that is impossible for this mother to grasp.

Today - I am so proud of this guy - and the young man that he is becoming.  And I am thankful for a God that is full of grace and mercy.  That doesn't give up on me when I fail as a parent.  And who has a purpose and a calling for my son.

Catching Up

My interview with WAYRadio will air THIS Saturday, May 3 at 8:30 AM (Eastern) and again on Sunday, May 4 at 8:30 PM. (Eastern) The program is called Conversations with Valmarie. No matter where you are in the world - you can listen!!!! Click the link to their site to listen LIVE and they also have an Ap for your phone or tablet!  Can't wait!!!!!

If you need back story about this - CLICK HERE. 

I'm so excited to see what God is going to do with this!

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Speaking of media - Jarod has been on the News team at school for the last 3 years.  He began in 6th grade at OPE and loved it.  He moved on to the Junior High School and continued learning.  Every few weeks the students rotate jobs so they get a good feel of all aspects of producing the news.   He feels that the Lord is leading him into some kind of media arts - possibly producing.

Right before Spring Break, his team took a field trip to one of our local stations here in Jacksonville.  Needless to say, Jarod had a blast getting to see everything behind the scenes.  And hamming it up with the Anchor before they went on the air for the 12:00 news.

In the past few years, our local High Schools have created different Academys that focus on different professions while you take your general classes as well.  Fleming Island High has a Television Production Academy and Jarod has wanted to go there but it is not the school that we are districted for.

There was an application process, along with a lottery and a lot of waiting and prayer.  We have always taken the kid's education very seriously.  Praying and seeking God for exactly where He wants them to be.  It's hard to believe that we are at that point where Jarod is beginning to think about his future as an adult and where God wants him to serve.  

Well, yesterday we received a letter that he had indeed been accepted into the program!  He was soooo very excited and we are thrilled as well.  We are so proud of him! 

I can't believe that he will be a Freshman in the fall.  How time has flown by.  I suddenly have this young "man" in my house and he won't be here much longer.  But!  We WON'T go there today.  We still have 4 years and a lot of training to do.  I'm actually looking forward to the High School years - kind of........

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On a completely different note - let's chat about Haiti!  

It's all come about rather quickly but I'm heading back!  So many exciting things have happened since my trip in February.  God is continuing to work and expand the areas of ministry within Apparent Project beyond jewelry production.

One of the new things that the Board has approved is a new Training Program.  This is so exciting!  It opens things up for us to begin training in the areas of literacy, computer skills, graphic design, typing, English, etc.  We have one student right now, kind of on a trial basis, to get our feet wet and he is doing well!  He is improving his English through Rosetta Stone and he is learning how to type.  Once those are in hand, he can move on to new areas on the computer.  We are so excited about the possibilities here!  It will give them so many more marketable skills which will lead to an even brighter future.  

The other new and exciting thing the Board has approved is the creation of a Daycare for the more "at risk," single moms at AP.   To learn more about that - CLICK HERE

This is just about ready to get started.  Shelley has a start date of May 5 - this Monday!  We are still in need of financial donations - both one time gifts and monthly!  If you are interested in helping to support this program, CLICK HERE and follow the links.

So, all of that to let you know that I will be returning to Haiti (via Lacey, WA for a Board Meeting) on June 4.  I will fly out to WA on May 31 and then Marilyn and I will arrive in Haiti on June 4.  On June 5 we will be joined by two ladies from my church who will help us with the start of the Daycare.

Joyce Bland - director of Hickory Grove Early Learning Center and her daughter, 

Erin Bland-Howard - director of Cove Learning Academy, will be joining us June 5 - 12

They will be training the nannies, educating the moms and helping with the administration side of things.   We are all so very excited!  This trip has come about very quickly (in the last 5 days) and everything is falling into place. 

Please pray for Joyce and Erin as they prepare.  Erin is having a Passport expedited - pray it gets here on time.  Also - pray for all of the financial stuff that comes along with a trip like this.  It's a very short time for all of us to come up with the money that is needed but we know that God has ordained this trip and He will provide!  If you are interested in helping in any way - please let me know.  You can email me at  Franklin4@truevine.net

Monnet and her new twins!

I am so excited to see ALL that God is going to do in and through us.  The education of both the nannies and the moms is so important as it will be greatly affecting/benefiting the next generation!

Thanks for your prayers!  I'll keep you updated - 

Until next time......

Our Christmas Blessings

In late 2010, God began really working in my heart and life concerning how we did Christmas.  It was a long and difficult journey for me and if I was honest, I would say that it still is.  Although it led to my amazing assignment with Apparent Project, there has still been some difficult struggles. After being exposed to Haiti and extreme poverty, I'm just so much more conscious of how and what we spend at Christmas time - and throughout the year for that matter.  But, it is still so difficult.  Needs vs. wants - it's a constant battle in our consumer driven culture.

I think it's worse at Christmas time because of expectations.  Like most people, we live on a tight budget.  We came into fall with a fair amount in savings and a car repair took ALL of it.  So thankful that we had it in savings, but it took away all freedom as we came into Christmas.  As the holiday approached, I once again, found myself angry and frustrated.  So many things that I wanted to do for people and no funds to do it with.  I wound up being on a big emotional roller coaster, just wanting to skip Christmas all together.

In the beginning of this journey, in 2010, I read this in a blog written by a facebbook friend who lives in Haiti:  "I find great inspiration in the simple, dingy, gritty, humble celebrations of those who struggle and toil without access to our unstained images of Christmas. I long for their stripped down total dependence on God. I pray for spiritual wealth like that of the materially poor. I want their depth. I want their undying hope. I want a Christmas less like Oprah’s and more like theirs."   That's hard stuff!

This was re-posted again this year (You can read the entire post here) and I was reminded about how it had affected me three years ago.  I remember praying about that.  Longing for their "stripped down total dependence on God."  Praying for "spiritual wealth like that of the materially poor."   But did I really know what that meant?  Was I really willing to go through what it would take to get me there?

We experienced this when we were on staff with Crusade.  We depended on God for EVERY penny.  Now that regular paychecks come in every other week, it's easy to become more relaxed in the financial area. So I've come to realize that He still keeps us financially dependent in some areas.  And it always seems to happen to us at Christmas time. 

EVERY YEAR!!!  

I'm starting to see a pattern.  Seriously!!!!  

No matter what we save, how we plan - it gets stripped away every year and we are left wondering how we are going to pull Christmas off.  We've cut back tremendously.  Russ and I haven't purchased for each other in years.  Instead of things - we focus anything extra into getting away as a family.  Relationships and memories are more important to us than "stuff."  But, we still want to get a few things for the kids and recognize other friends and family members with a little something as well.  And every year, I wind up angry and frustrated because it doesn't seem like we can even do that.

So when I put all this together, I realized that I was angry with God for trying to answer my prayers from three years ago.  I prayed to be dependent on Him - to gain that spiritual wealth.  But each year when He attempts to draw me in -  to rely on Him and Him alone, I get really angry.  And grumpy.  And downright Scrooge like.  It's NOT pretty!  Ask my husband - and my closest friends who get to hear me complain.

But - EVERY year - in His grace - He provides anyway.  He lets me gripe and complain and whine and cry and be a big old baby about the whole thing and He still steps in and takes care of my desires. Especially when my desires/worries don't even compare to the concerns of the majority of the rest of the world. You would think that I would learn by now.  His provision always blindsides me.  Oh - to just blindly trust with no other thoughts or cares.  To not get caught up in the expectations of others. 

"For He is able to do EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY above ALL that we ask or imagine..." Eph. 3:20

This year, of course, was no exception.  We wound up with an extra paycheck this month (I was so stressed out, I didn't put that one together!  Gee - I'm a mess)  But things were still going to be tight. We were not even going to get to go away like we usually do.  Everyone was bummed about that.  So the extra paycheck was going to help with the food and gifts - but we would have to be careful.

One of the things that we wanted to do was replace Jarod's basketball goal.  It had been stolen in the Spring and we had not been able to replace it.  I had been praying that the Lord would somehow make it happen.  Jarod had his eye on a nice, new one from Academy but it just was not going to fit into our budget at all.  I got on Craig's list and emailed a few different people - several times.  No one would respond to my inquiries.  I thought that was really weird.  

I finally put a shameless plug out on Facebook - I explained that his had been stolen, we were looking to replace it and asked if there was anyone out there willing to sell theirs or if they knew of someone who was.   Almost instantly I had a private message from a friend, willing to sell theirs.  I was so excited!  I drove by their house that afternoon to look at it.  It was in good shape - but it wasn't like the one Jarod had his eye on.  I called Russ and we chatted about it.  Russ suggested we wait and see if anyone else responded to the post.  If not, we would purchase it the next day.  Sounds like a plan.

Then about 6:30 that night I received a private message from another friend, wondering if we had found one yet.  Our conversation went like this - 

Friend - Hey Cami - did you ever find a hoop for Jarod? We have been blessed with some extra money this season, and we'd like to contribute to replacing his hoop. How much would a new one run down there?

Wow - how do you respond to that????

Me -  Wow! A little speechless here. The one he wants is about $$$ new. I did find a used one today (a smaller sized backboard than he wants) for $$.

I mean - when someone says they want to "contribute" you don't know exactly what that means so you give them options.......

Friend -  We'd like to send you (full amount)  so he can get the one he wants. (We've made it our mission to bless pastor's families that we know, and this certainly qualifies!)

Do you guys have a Paypal account? If so, send me the email it's under.

Me -  Oh my goodness! What a blessing! You have no idea. It's been an emotional struggle for me this year. Trusting God to provide. I'm in tears. Thank you so much!!! My paypal address is ........

Friend -  Transfer sent. You should have the funds in your Paypal account shortly.

And stop crying!

Me -  That's just what I do. Lol   They are happy grateful tears!

So once again - God did exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or imagine this year.  He totally blew me away with His provision.  This gift freed us up to be able to surprise Jarod with something very unexpected and still be able to bless others the way we desired to.  So much worry and stress when God had it all planned out. 

Russell went and picked up the basketball goal and hid it at my brother's house.  That night, everyone came over to decorate Christmas cookies and a certain redheaded, 4 year old - who will remain anonymous, just could NOT keep the secret ANY longer! Ha Ha!  The benefit of this was that Jarod got to help Uncle Marc put it together on Christmas Eve.......

                                Soooooo thankful for Uncle Marc!  This was a heavy project!!!!

 

                                                               Finishing touches!

                                                                     Very excited!!!!

                 Of course, there was a brand new basketball under the tree Christmas morning!
Jarod knew we were tight and wasn't expecting this at all.  He was so excited and shocked at the same time.  It was so fun to sit down and tell him the story.  So he could see what God had done.

A special thank you to our friends for not just blessing Jarod with a basketball hoop - but for being obedient to what God had asked you to do.  Sometimes, our obedience has nothing to do with us - it's about someone else.  This time it was about our family - our journey (ok - maybe mostly crabby old me) MY journey in allowing God to continue to make us ME dependent on Him so that our MY faith will grow.  (Even with my kicking and screaming the entire way!)    


Funny - the things He uses to teach us with, huh?  It is so much more to us than just a basketball hoop.  It is about our faith.  It is about trusting God.  He'll do whatever it takes to draw us closer to Him.  I'm so thankful for that.  That is the best gift of all.

Maybe next year I'll have a better attitude!!!!

"Mom, Can I Text Girls Now?"

I know I said that my next blog post would continue to talk about my trip to New York.  Sorry - putting that on hold for today.  I've been working through some things the last few days and feel the need to "work it out" here.  Funny how my blog becomes therapeutic at times.


Jarod turns 14 on Sunday.  I know, right?  Still wrapping my mind around it.

He is in the 8th Grade and is turning pretty little heads at school.  Last year he was smaller.  His hair was long and shaggy.  He had glasses.

He totally morphed over the summer.  He grew several inches, got contacts, cut off all his hair and his voice is cracking. Suddenly, this young man is living at my house, eating all my food!  It's nuts!

So - this is all normal, right?

Right.

Did I mention the girl part?

I know this is normal too but I will admit that it has struck a bit of fear in me and has even taken me a bit off track.  

He came home this week and asked me if he can text girls.   UGH!  Now I will tell you that he is talking about his friends.  We haven't seen much of the other yet - although I know it will come soon enough.

So - why is he asking this?

Let me back up a bit and explain -

We are "those parents" who did not allow him to have a cell phone until WE needed him to have one.  Entering Jr. High and coming home a few days a week to an empty house (because I'm running Anne to dance, etc.) constituted us needing him to have a phone.  Especially since we did away with the land line to save money.  I think he was one of the LAST ones in his age group to have a phone.  Not even kidding.

He still does not have a Facebook account.  He hovers over mine a lot but we just haven't felt like him having is own is necessary at this point.  So much drama happens via Facebook and teens.  Gosh - I think many adults still need to learn that some things just don't need to be talked about publicly.  So many things to misunderstand.  So many things are lost in translation!  (Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice)  Call me old fashioned, but some things need to be saved for real, live conversation.  Or at least a Private Message.  Throwing a bunch of teens (who are still maturing socially and trying to figure out who they are) into the mix can be dangerous.  Ya - he'll be the odd man out on that one for a little while longer.  Besides - some things are rights of passage.  We want him to appreciate the freedom and the responsibility of it all.

So - all of that being said - we also told Jarod that he was limited to who he could text/talk to. Mostly boys only.  A few girls (that we know) from church.  He's done pretty well at adhering to this rule.  The main reason it was made is because we don't know these girls.  I really am in protection mode.  It only takes one forward girl and a few texts or photos for the entire thing to get out of hand and Jarod be caught up in something that is over his head.

He and I have gone back and forth about this a bit this week.  I even got the "mom, I'm not a kid anymore - I'm 14" speech.

Nice!

I guess 14 is the new magical number.  I thought it was 16 or 18.  Anyway - I digress.....

Then, someone posted this blog on Facebook

FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

I liked it.  I felt like it validated my points.  I even made Jarod read it. (So he would better understand where I'm coming from -- and -- that I'm not the ONLY crazy, protective mom in this world)

Then I got on Facebook this morning and someone wrote this one in response:

Dear Mrs. Hall, Regarding Your “FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)”…

And I will have to admit that some of her points were just as valid.

We may see Facebook pages, posts, photos, etc. but do we really KNOW what's going on with that particular person?  Who are we to make such a blanket statement - shut her completely out - without knowing more.  There is ALWAYS a back story people!  ALWAYS!!!! 

But at the same time, I think we should monitor things like this.  We are allowed to have certain standards in our family.  If a movie or TV show doesn't hold up to certain standards, we don't allow it in our home.  We have control over that.  Why should the computer/Facebook be any different?  Jarod has watched me block people on my account because several of their posts were completely inappropriate.  (not just one - they were given grace)

So - where do I find a balance as a parent?


Then - there was THIS blog -

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son - See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.96RN0i43.dpuf

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between Father and Son

Oh my!  How perfect!  It's not about my policing these girls.  Shaming them - expecting them to live up to a crazy high standard and not allowing them to fail at some point.  It's not about my locking Jarod in a closet until he's 35 - although I have been very tempted!

It's about my teaching him.  My loving on him.  My modeling a Godly relationship with Russell in front of him.  It's about having those hard conversations.  Being available to listen, correct and not judge or condemn.  It's about trusting God with my son and the people that He brings into Jarod's life - knowing that ALL of it is part of his journey - his life lessons.  It's talking to him about this stuff and praying that he will recognize it for himself as time goes on.  I don't want to be the "morality police."  I can trust the Holy Spirit in his heart for that and then be there to reinforce what his heart is telling him.

Now, I'm not at all saying that I'm throwing up my hands and giving him full freedom.  That would be ridiculous and irresponsible on my part.  He is still 14 - he still needs a mom and a dad to walk with him through all of it.  But he is our focus - not all this external stuff.  His heart - his mind.  His reactions.  His responses.  Our job is to parent HIM - not everyone else.

We will move forward - s-l-o-w-l-y.......

I've known all this and feel confident that we've been doing this all along.  I just needed a bit of a reminder.  There was just something about the words, "Mom, can I text girls now?" that threw me off  a bit.  Go figure.......

He is noticing the new attention he is getting because of his new look.  He's not real impressed.  He told me, "If they only like me because of my new haircut and contacts, and not for me as a person, then they don't have a chance."

***Sigh***

I think we may be on the right track.


Until next time.....

Rock the Universe!

When September hits, it's down hill for me.  Life only grows increasingly busy as Christmas quickly approaches.  Jarod's birthday is always that mile marker for me.

I realized yesterday that I had not updated my blog in two weeks!  What's up with that?  Well, school is in full swing, BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) has started up again and I've had lots of Calligraphy and Apparent Project stuff keeping me busy on top of that.  Plus just the normal "mom" stuff.  Sitting down to blog just hasn't been on the top of my list.  Until today.

Last weekend (on Jarod's ACTUAL birthday) his youth group went to Universal Studios for the Rock the Universe event.  Now, as you know, I am a complete Disney fan so I had not been to Universal in 15 years.  But Jarod asked me to go along and I wasn't going to pass up a weekend riding roller coasters and listening to our favorite Christian bands perform.

 Visiting Sponge Bob with Dariel, Chase, Cliff and Joe

I love this pic of Jarod enjoying Newsboys.  We were on the front row - could see the guy spit.  That's cool, ya know.

It's funny - when I was Jarod's age, I loved concerts!  My first concert ever was Farrell & Farrell and DeGarmo & Key. Ya - Google that one!

I was about Jarod's age.  I remember it being soooo cool to see these bands Live!  I spent the rest of my teenaged and early adult years going to concerts.  You could get in to see Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith and even Petra for less than $10 a ticket.

Now when someone comes in town, I think - ya - no.  I can think of so many other things to spend that money on.  Okay - so Russ and I did see Michael W. Smith with the Jacksonville Symphony this past Christmas but that was a special treat and only the two of us went!  I could have bought groceries for the cost - or filled my van with gas, TWICE or......!?

I digress.... I say all of this to say that Russ has taken Jarod to concerts before, but I have not been with them.  It was such a joy watching Jarod get excited, sing, fist pump, clap and worship along with both Newsboys and Tobymac (his favorites).  I think it was one of the highlights of my weekend.  That and the fact that he wanted me right there next to him!  

I LOVE that he loves Christian music.  Songs that worship our Lord with band members that don't glorify themselves and the things of this world, but point their fans to Christ.  There is already so much stuff out there for him to fight against, it's great to know that positive music is blaring through those ear buds on his iPod.

On Saturday, the group got him a special birthday cake and we all had lunch together before heading over the park again.  I'm so excited about the youth group at our church.  It's a great group of teens who love to have fun and learn more about Christ together.  For so long, Jarod has been our little guy who hangs out with the youth trying to fit in.  Now he does.  He is one of them and it was so neat to watch that dynamic all weekend.

 

Joe, Cliff and Chase with Jarod

These guys are great.  I hung with them all weekend.

The whole group.

 Jarod is a way cooler surfer than me!!!!  

The rides were absolutely awesome!  I think we rode The Mummy over and over!  But we finished the weekend off with this:

Absolutely worth the two hour wait!  167 ft drop!

It doesn't get much better than this kind of craziness -

Whoo hoo!!!!

What an awesome way to finish off your birthday!  13 will definitely be one for the memory books!

Until next time.....

Thirteen

Wow - the word "teen" can now be officially used in our home.  Well, almost.  Jarod's birthday isn't until this Saturday but we celebrated a little early this year.  The next few weekends are full of activities like Universal Studios and camp outs so I had to bump it up a bit.

I have had a few emotional roller coaster moments in the last few weeks.  In case you missed the latest emotional uproar, you can read that here.

God is so good. Since that post, I have stepped back and watched Jarod handle his new journey with great maturity.  I think he was ready for the challenge.  He has done so well getting himself up in the morning, keeping himself organized and handling the challenge of a new school, new friends, new teachers, etc.  He is really enjoying school and is excited about going each day.

He has joined FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) and has signed up for the leadership track.  He will be trained so he can lead the different Bible Study discussions and be able to answer questions that other students have about Christ. We were thrilled that he volunteered for this and are excited to watch him step out and take a stand at school.  He's already making some great, Christian friends which is a huge answer to my prayers. 

It was time for the change - time for the challenge.  Even though I was nervous about all of it, Jarod has stepped up to the task and is proving that he is capable.   I am so proud of the young man he is becoming.

I am enjoying the change in our family dynamic as well.  Anne is up first in the morning.  We have her alone for about an hour.  Then Jarod gets up after she leaves and we have him alone for about an hour as well.  Then I have Anne alone  again for two hours in the afternoon before Jarod gets home from school.  Having them one on one has made for some great bonding time, good conversations and less competition between the two of them.  Things have calmed down and and settled into a nice routine.

So, this weekend, we celebrated Jarod.  You only turn 13 once and he is quite excited!  13 has a few "rights of passage" around here and our family came over to help us honor him.  Here is our evening in photos -

He asked for a guitar cake this year - he always challenges me.

Jarod had a Birthday helper this year!  He is so patient with Chloe and she adores him.

Nana & Papa looking on 

Brothers!!!!  Uncle Ray and Russ

Uncle Marc & Aunt Sam

They bought him is first bottle of cologne - he was quite excited!  Now to convince him he only needs ONE spray! 

Jarod with Nana & Papa

Uncle Ray

Uncle Marc, Aunt Sam & Chloe

Family shot

Happy Birthday to You!!!

Jarod received his first cell phone for his birthday.  He was thrilled.  He's waited a while as we are the odd parents who wouldn't let him have one until we NEEDED him to have one.  

His other big birthday gift is that he is going to Rock the Universe at Universal Studios in Orlando this weekend with his Youth Group.  He will be there on his actual birthday (Sept. 8) and is so excited!  He invited me to come along and chaperone so I'm excited as well.

He has a few Scout Camp Outs this month also.  One being for the induction into the Order of the Arrow.  He was selected for this back in the spring and it is quite an honor.  He has officially made Star Scout, which means he is only two ranks away from Eagle.  How crazy is that???  

I am so thankful for these glimpses that the Lord gives me.  In many ways, he is still my little boy.  But as I step back, let go and allow God to work in his life, I do see pieces of the man he is becoming.  I know that all those pieces will eventually come together like a puzzle and he will stand before me as a grown man.  It's humbling and overwhelming to know that it won't be long.  Time does go so fast.  I know there will be mistakes - bumps and road blocks along the way.  But the Lord continues to answer my prayers.  So far, on the things that really count - Jarod is moving in the right direction.  And on those days we he doesn't, we will be there to help him up and encourage him on. 

Happy Birthday Jarod!  God has great plans for you and I am truly humbled and honored to be your mom.  I am so proud of the young man you are becoming - of the choices that you are making.  You have adjusted to the challenges well and you are showing great courage and responsibility.  I love who you are becoming - I love that you are a leader and an example to others.  I love that you are sensitive and kind.  Most of all, I am thankful that you are mine.  Continue to trust God - knowing that His plan is best and know that your Dad and I are here for you along the way.  I look forward to the years ahead and all that He will do to make you into His man. 

I love you.

 Until next time.....

Bring on the Fall!!!!!

Thank you all for your prayers and notes of support yesterday.  Both Jarod and Anne did wonderfully on their first day back to school.   And I survived as well!

So I spent an entire blog on Jarod yesterday and all the worries of him entering 7th grade (more on that in a minute) and I didn't even mention our Anne Girl.

That's because she's got this whole thing down!  I was concerned that she might be upset because she is now the only one in our family at OPE.  But, nope.  She's good.

She said, "Mom, I really never saw Jarod anyway."

No problem there.  She has been my little miss confident since she was born.  So thankful for that.  Praying God continues to mold and shape her confidence.  I love that spunk about her - as long as it's channeled in the right direction.  She can definitely hold her own.

Russ said when he dropped her off at school yesterday, she was immediately searching faces in the crowd and waving to everyone.  Miss Social Bug.  She rarely meets a stranger.

She is in 2nd grade this year and has a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Allen.  She is so excited about school and I think she is really excited about the 2 hours that she has alone with me in the afternoon before Jarod returns home.

Jarod did great yesterday!  By the time 4:00 rolled around, I had hot cookies baking in the oven and I couldn't stay away from the window!  I kept watching for him to come up the street.

He came in just a talking!  And eating the cookies.  I don't think he stopped talking until his head hit the pillow last night and fortunately he slept ALL night this time.  The jitters were over.

Jr. High has already been a big eye opener for him but he is adjusting and is proving to be so grown up. I am excited to hear him be so open and honest about his feelings about everything and I do look forward to watching what God is going to do in his life this year.  I'm very proud.

Last year, Jarod was on the News Media Team at OPE.  We took him early each morning and they did a live newscast with all the morning announcements and such via the TV system in the school.  He LOVED this!

The Jr. High also has a Broadcast Media class.  It's a year long elective and it's very difficult to get in to.  Only 11 students from the entire school are chosen and only a few of them are the new 7th graders.  Jarod received a wonderful recommendation from Mrs. Callahan at OPE and he was selected at Lake Asbury.  He is thrilled!   He is proving to be great in front of and behind the camera.

I just love the confidence that my kids have in themselves.  I don't know where it came from except the Lord.  Russ was shy growing up and me, well - I would have rather dug a hole and buried myself FOREVER than have to speak in public.  I was in my 20's before the Lord began breaking me of my fear.  It just seems to come natural to them.  So thankful.

Well, school is back in full swing.

Russ and I have our Friday Date Days back (he's off on Fridays - kids in school - YAY!!!!)

I have two dates in the next two weeks where I'm selling Apparent Project.  Working on a few more!  Call me if you are interested!

I'm going with Jarod's youth group to Rock the Universe at Universal Studios in Orlando over Jarod's Birthday weekend!  How fun is that?

Sasha is supposed  to come visit for a few days.  YAY!!!!!


We have our 15th Anniversary trip scheduled for next month - whoo hoo!!!! (Jekyll Island, GA - that's where Russ proposed!)

I'm going to the Women of Faith Conference in Orlando with the Women's Ministry at our church in October.

AND........

I just booked my flight for my annual fall trip to New Hampshire to see Emily!  Eeeeeeeeeeek!

Bring on the Fall!  It's going to be AWESOME!!!!!!!

Until next time.....

Letting Go.....

Today is the first day of school.  It seems like yesterday that school was ending.  We were sitting in Jarod's promotion ceremony as he was finishing his elementary career.  We were excited to enter summer - a full 10 week break from the routine. 

Today is the first day of school.  I thought we had more time. 

I thought I could adjust to the changes coming in those 10 weeks.  I thought 10 weeks would be enough time to wrap my mind around all that was going to happen.

I was wrong.

I was so wrong.

Oh - I've hidden it well.  Even to myself.  I have done all the back to school shopping, bought all the school supplies, gone to the orientations, met the teachers.  In the last few days, I have even been secretly excited for the kids to go back to school and get into a routine.

Then, last night, reality hit. 

It wasn't pretty.

If you ask my husband, he would say it was predictable.  I blame him.  We crawled into bed last night and I was fine.  I was tired.  I was ready to go to sleep. 

Then Russ asked the ridiculous question.

"So, are you going to sleep okay tonight or is this going to be a cry fest?"

Seriously?  I'm tired.  I'm fine.  I'm going to sleep.

And then my brain went here -

And here -

And many other places.  My mind started playing images over and over in my head like an old family video. You know, the kind they play on TV and movies that is set to music and plays all the wonderful memories of your life. Ya - I'm sappy like that.

I pictured his first day of Pre-K, his first day of Kindergarten.  And so many other memories between then and now.

Then I thought about how God had shown us so clearly to put him in Orange Park Elementary.  For the last 7 years, he's been in a small school, with the same group of kids, with a group a teachers and administration who all knew who he was.  

Then I completely lost it.

Today, he starts 7th grade at Lake Asbury Jr. High.  1200+ teenagers.  Because we live kind of far out from OPE, maybe only 5 other students will go with him.  He. Knows. No One.  We might as well of moved to a new city.  He will be alone.


More ugly crying.

Really - it wasn't pretty.

And it did NOT help that Russ said things to me like:

"You know he's not really alone, God is with him."

"He'll be okay."

"You know the real issue is not whether or not Jarod can handle this - it's about you trusting.  Trusting God, trusting Jarod, trusting the teachers."

Ouch.

Even more ugly crying.

See - I told you it was his fault.  I was perfectly happy to just go to bed and go to sleep.  Now I'm drowning in snot, I can't breathe and my mind is racing.

Okay Buddy, if I snore tonight - just remember that you caused the cry fest.

Don't you hate it when they are right?  Russ knows me so well.  I'm so thankful he loves me anyway.

Jarod got up about this time.  He was having a hard time sleeping as well. I went into his room and chatted for a few minutes.  He was worried about his teachers and making new friends. I fought back the tears.

I really wanted to just crawl in his bed and hold him and sob.  Instead I told him how awesome his day was going to be and how good he is at making friends and that he shouldn't have a problem in that area.  I told him that he would be great and that I trusted him with his choices.  He knows the difference between right and wrong and he can handle it.  And I assured him that we were always here to help, encourage and cheer him on.  It was a great moment.

I came back to bed and fought the urge to get up and blog.  By this time it was 1:30 and I was already puffy eyed.  We had to get up at 6:30 with Anne and I needed some sleep.  So, I decided to pray instead.  Always a good idea.

In that time, God gave me a peace about today.  He reminded me of how He spoke clearly to my heart all those years ago when Jarod was going into Pre-K and I had this same melt down. (I have issues) He said, "Cami, trust Me with him.  The things that happen to him - good or bad - are things I need to happen in order to make him the man I need him to be later." 

Oh what comfort this brings me.  Yes, Jarod has been given to us to love, protect, nurture.  But we fall short so very often.  When I think of how much I love him - how huge my responsibility is - it's overwhelming.  But then I remember that God loves Him infinitely more.  That just blows my mind. He has created Jarod for a purpose.  He has a plan.  He knows what it is going to take to get him to that place where he can be used in a mighty way.

I want to stick him in a closet until he's 35.  Of course, in my mind, he'll come out as a wonderful human being completely mature and ready to fulfill his purpose.  But, that is not how it works.  He is fulfilling his purpose even now.  God is working in his life - even in the tough days of Jr. High.

He woke up this morning early and was so ready to go.  He asked to ride the bus on the first day.  Seriously?  We have driven him to school everyday his entire life.

Ugh.

Russ and I prayed with him this morning and he walked out the front door and into the new chapter of growth and maturity.  He texted me when he got off the bus at school and turned off his phone.


I am good.  I have a peace.  I will enjoy my day while I anxiously await his arrival around 4ish. 

I think cookies will be in the plan this afternoon.....

A Very Busy Week

What a busy week it has been!

Jarod was on the news on Wednesday and then he was in a Speech Contest at school where he took Third Place in his class.

He also had two of his pieces of art work chosen for the Clay County Art Show at the Orange Park Mall.  We picked the kids up from school on Friday and headed to the mall to check it out.

  His Grid Drawing of a Monkey

I love this one.  Abstract Self Portrait done in pastels.

He included things he loves like the basket ball, football and I really like the guitar for his mouth.  So creative.

While waiting for the Art Show Reception to begin, we did a little shopping.

Or I guess it should be called, a little playing.

Today was our church picnic at Hickory Grove.  We had bounce houses for the kids, played kick ball, tug of war and ate hamburgers, hot dogs and all the fixings.  They asked me to set up a table at the picnic so everyone could see and purchase ApParent Project jewelry.  I was excited to do it.  After all, they needed to see the end result of all the cereal boxes they have been collecting.

I set things up and was once again floored by the response!  I was non-stop almost the entire 3 hours!  The tables were surrounded and I sold just over $1000 for the artisans!  How cool is that????

I've been thinking about everything that has conspired in the last two months since I returned from Haiti.  I knew I was supposed to go.  I knew I came home more determined to spread the word - but why am I floored when God blows my sales out of the water or puts things in line for all the collection of the cereal boxes?

Right now this is my special assignment from the Lord.  I love it.  It is my heart.  My passion. This is His work - I am just a vessel.  I have made myself available and willing to do whatever - go wherever.  He has blown the doors wide open.  The fact that this thing just keeps expanding is continued confirmation that Shelley and Corrigan Clay are right where God wants them.  They are doing the right thing - the right way.  God is hard at work here in the states to provide them with exactly what they need for ApParent Project and the artisans.  He knows their need and is working to meet it.  I have the fun part of watching it all unfold.

Thanks to everyone who is saving and sending cereal boxes - and thanks to all who have purchased jewelry and continue to spread the word!  It is contagious!  May God bless you all!!!

Until next time.....

Teacher of the Week

Jarod was on the news this morning!  He nominated his teacher, Mr. Reynolds, for Teacher of Week.  Way to to Jarod AND Mr. Reynolds!!!!!






We LOVE Orange Park Elementary and all of the wonderful teachers that help make learning fun!

Happy Birthday Jarod

Eight years ago today, Jarod gave his life to Christ and began his lifelong journey as a Christian.

He was only 4 1/2 at the time but already had a deep grasp of eternal things after watching his Grandma die from Lou Gherrig's disease.

He was Baptized on Easter Sunday, 2005.  We were so proud.

Normally we celebrate his physical birthday on September 8, but every March, we take time out to celebrate what we like to call, his "Spiritual Birthday."

Happy Birthday Jarod!  We love you and we are very proud of you!  We know that God has great plans for you and He is already at work in your life.  Continue to seek Him and follow Him in all you do.  You will never be happier and more content than in His perfect will.