Another Adventure

I sit here tonight, flying thousands of feet above the ground, chasing the sunset west towards Washington and an Apparent Project Board Meeting - pondering what lies ahead.  It’s always an adventure – always a bit of a glorious mystery – always a feeling of purpose.  Things always fall into place for the next step in my “journey.”   This one is no exception.

As I watch the clouds and wonder what is ahead of me for the next 10 days – I can’t help thinking about who I left behind.

I am so thankful for my husband.  Thankful for his love and his support that allows me to be obedient to what God has called me to do.  I’ve traveled a lot in the last three years.  I would not have even contemplated all this when the kids were younger.  Now that they are older and more independent,  I am able to be away for days at a time but there is still so much to do to keep our home running smoothly and  keep  everyone on schedule.

Especially with all that pulls at Russell’s attention. 

Being a Pastor can be quite demanding at times and often pulls him in several different directions.  One phone call can change everything.  We learn to be flexible – go with the flow – whatever and however God directs for that day.  We are a good team and we make it work.   Adding my extra work to his can seem overwhelming.  You just can’t be two places at once.  Fortunately this time, the kids only have 2 ½ days of school left so the craziness won’t last the entire time I’m gone.  One thing is for sure though – he may feel overwhelmed at times, but he does a great job!  I can leave knowing that everything will be taken care of and it will be done well!  It may be a mad dash to pick up before I get home – but it will be clean when I get there and no one will have been lost in the process.  He’s awesome like that.

Thank you Russell, for supporting me in my journey.  For stepping up and for sending me off.  For being willing to take up the slack and to also be stretched yourself.   You are my love, my best friend and my hero!  You awesome!  I'll be home before you know it!!!!

  

That I Might Be The Praise of His Glory

"In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the purpose of His will,  so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be for the praise of his glory."                             Ephesians 1:11-12

  

This verse has served as a great reminder for me this week.  Being a Pastor's wife, I often come face to face with expectations.  Expectations that others place on me.  Expectations that I place on me.  And sometimes it's as complicated as "what I think others think" I should be doing.  UGH!  Talk about the mind games! And the sad thing is that none of it has been verbally communicated.  It's just there.  Below the surface.  And if I am not careful, I can allow it to control me.  I can allow it to get to me.  My human nature wants to make everyone happy.  If only I were as spiritual as they think I am - or even as they think I should be!

I hate expectations.  I have decided that what screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be.  We do nothing but hurt ourselves by thinking that way.  I can get so caught up in the mind game that I lose the important stuff.  What really is.  

Why do I give others so much power?  I can play games in my head all day about what people think, what is being said, thought and expected by others.  But, when it boils right down to it, the only One I answer to is Christ.  Like the verse above says, I was chosen.  Predestined for His purpose.  For His will.  For the praise of His glory. I am here to enhance God's reputation.  To bring Him glory.  Not to fulfill the expectations of others.  Not even to fulfill my expectations.  I shouldn't have any.  I gave up my rights when I became a child of Christ.  I live for Him and Him alone.  

Russ told me when we were first married to "Learn how to say no".  To only take on the things that I KNOW God wants me to do. I have done so.  It's not always easy because I never want to disappoint anyone.  And I find that many times, I am misunderstood.  I have learned that each time someone approaches me with a new "ministry" idea that I need to pray about it.  I have said no often because I don't have a peace about it.  I don't always have a why.  So many things within the church are "good" things, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it is what God wants ME to do.  IF I am always stepping up and taking up the slack somewhere then I am not allowing someone else in the church to have that blessing.  To step out on faith and do the task that God has called THEM to do - not ME.  God has something very specific planned for me and if I am busy doing all the other "stuff" just because it's expected or I'm trying to please people - then I will miss out completely.

As a pastor's wife, my first and highest priority is to Russell.  I am his helpmate.  My job is to make sure that our house is orderly and scheduled so that when he comes home, he can turn his brain off.  As pastor, he is pulled in several different directions all day, helping people, ministering, solving problems, preaching, teaching, encouraging.  It is physically and spiritually exhausting.  My job is to be his encourager.

My second priority is being a mom. Whereas Russ and I are a team when it comes to parenting, I handle as much at home as I can to help keep our house orderly and scheduled.

Next, I believe, comes my roll in the church.  But I only take on the things that the Lord has clearly shown me to do and will not interfere with the top priorities listed above.  When that interference happens, our house is in chaos and I don't know which end is up.  I become stressed out and I never feel like I do anything "well".  I just wind up hurrying up to get to the "next thing".   I speak from experience on this one - it's not fun!  I tried doing too much a while back and we were out of control.  That is NOT what God's purpose is.  How does that bring Him glory?  How does that enhance His reputation?

When I am doing exactly what He calls me to do - no more - no less - everything runs smoothly.  Everything gets finished well and He is glorified.  

But I am human and I still fight with my thoughts.  I still wonder what people think.  I still want to make people happy.  I am hurt when I am misunderstood.  I get defensive.  I get angry.  And in the end, I wind up on my knees, giving it to God, asking for forgiveness because His plan for my life is the ONLY one I need to worry about.  I make no apologies for that.  I will not stand before congregations of churches one day - I will stand before my Savior.  Only what I have done for Him and His kingdom will matter.

 May He find me faithful to be the "Praise of His Glory".
 

"I'm More Than the Pastor's Wife"

Well, we continue to make our trek back and forth to the beaches each day. Russ, 5 days a week and the kids and I go 3. On Sundays, we stay out there all day and work in the office between services. It makes for a long day. But this week, the Lord blessed us "exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or imagine" - as He always does.

A couple from our church went out of town until mid September. They live right around the corner from the church and they gave us a key to their house! We get to use it on Sunday afternoons to relax, nap or play in the pool! How awesome is that? I cannot even begin to tell you how excited we are! Yesterday was so nice. We went to church as usual, went out for lunch and then spent some much needed family time by the pool. It was almost like a mini vacation! We were able to shower and be all rested for evening services. God is just so good!

During my relaxing time, I was able to catch up on a little reading. Right now I am reading a book entitled, "I'm More than the Pastor's Wife" by Lorna Dobson. She has such good insight on balancing church life, family life and my own personal relationships. So far I can see how God has already put several things into place in my life that line up with the things she talks about in her book. Once again - He has gone before me, preparing the way and protecting me and my family.

It really is quite amazing how each and every person in the church has a completely different idea of who the Pastor's Wife is and what her role is supposed to be. As I step into this role, I am quite aware of the fact that I am being watched closely and opinions are being made based on my actions, or lack thereof, without all of the facts being known. If I'm not careful, it could really become quite stressful. I continually pray that I will be ONLY the woman that God has called me to be and not to get caught up in the opinions of others. I desire to be real, to be authentic, to be approachable, to be me. I am no different then the rest of the women in my church - my husband just happens to be the pastor. I have worked very hard over the years to learn how to be real with people. How to share my ups and downs so that God may use them in the lives of those around me. I don't want to shy away from that now because of my role. And I don't want people to shy away from me because there is something in their life they don't want the pastor to know. Am I making any sense?

Some sweet ladies in my church, that I have known long before Russ became their Pastor, are having a Ladies Brunch for me soon. The idea is to give me a chance to speak to the ladies of the church and share my heart. For them to get to know me. Please pray that God will give me the exact words and stories that He wants me to share and that He will use me to enhance His reputation. In spite of everyone's thoughts and opinions, I just want to glorify Him.
Until next time....