Nicki & Aunt Melva
First of all, I want to thank everyone who prayed for me and my extended family last week. My cousin's sudden and tragic death was a shock to all of us. She was driving to her mother's house when she came to an icy patch on the road. Her car spun out of control through the median and in the path of oncoming traffic. She was killed instantly. Nicki was 31 and still had her entire life ahead of her. The wonderful thing is that I know she is with our Lord. What hope this gives us!
We had only been home from Disney 2 hours when I received the phone call. I looked up the cost of flights and it was much more than we could handle right now - especially right here at Christmas. So - I just kept praying - asking the Lord to show me what to do. I went to bed with my mind spinning and finally fell asleep. On Sunday morning Russ and I debated on whether or not I should go to church - I was looking kind of rough. But I decided to go - and just not stay all day like usual. To come home after morning services and have the freedom to be on the phone and do what I needed to do.
A lady in my church came up to me after services and said, "If you had the money for a plane ride - would you go?" I was floored. The rest of my family (Marcia) - were still deciding if they were going to drive it and I would just go with them. I told her the tickets were expensive and she said - "Book it this afternoon - I'll bring you the money tonight." I knew immediately that I was supposed to go. I had no excuse! After a lot of phone calls and chatting with family (you know how that goes) - we found a flight and decided that I would fly with my other cousin - she would come over from Tallahassee. Russell brought home an envelope with enough money to cover my ticket and pay for checked bags, etc. She had privately collected it from a few good Samaritans at church. God is so good.
Now - here's where it gets interesting. My uncle called me that same night and asked me if I would do the eulogy at the funeral service. At first I kind of froze and told them I would call them back. I was worried that I would not do it justice as I have not been around Nicki enough because we live so far apart. But, I called them back and told them yes and then just began praying. I soon learned that it would be a private graveside service for immediate family only and I would be the only one speaking. Now I knew why everything was falling together so nicely. I was supposed to go. At this point, I sent out a private email to my prayer warrior friends and everyone began to pray for me.
I left out of here last Wednesday morning, with only about 3 hours of sleep, in order to be there in time for the Visitation. Over 700 people came through that visitation line that night. We wondered if it would ever end. People stood outside in the cold for almost an hour before coming inside to the long line that wound through the Funeral Home. The love and support that was shown to my Aunt was amazing.
Later that night, my Aunt Melva and I sat down and I began working on the eulogy. I prayerfully gathered information that she wanted me to talk about and put it together with things I know the Lord clearly gave me as well. I typed it all up and we stayed up late chatting. It was a very special time that I will be forever thankful for.
I got about 3 hours of sleep that night. I woke up early in order to get myself ready and not feel rushed. I called Russ and read the eulogy to him and had a hard time. I kept crying. I told him, "I can't cry like this - you have to pray that I don't cry." It was an hour drive to the cemetery and I kept waiting for there to be this nasty pit in my stomach but it never came. When we got there - there were obviously more people that I anticipated but this didn't bother me either, surprisingly. Once everyone gathered, I began to hear crying - that is always a trigger for me to cry to - but the Lord sustained me in such a way that I cannot explain. I got up there and did what I had to do. I could feel the prayers of everyone and I knew the Lord was holding me up in that moment. My voice cracked during the final prayer but I continued to hold it together. After I said Amen, I turned, walked outside of the tent and fell apart. I cried for a few reasons. 1) The loss of my cousin 2) The pain and heartache of my Aunt, and 3) the overflowing thankfulness in my heart that the Lord had enabled me to do what I was supposed to do. People kept coming up to me afterward and saying, "I just don't know how you did that" and I made sure they knew it was the Lord. I certainly could not have done that in my own strength. There was none there.
God is just so good. I am so thankful to have been chosen for such a great task. Copies of the eulogy were made so that family members received them. The gospel was shared and Nicki's life was honored. Please continue to pray for my family. Especially my Aunt Melva. Life will never be the same for her and I am continually praying that she will learn to lean on the Lord in a life changing way. That the Lord will surround and comfort her in ways she has never experienced before and that she will be able to use this tragic situation to help others and glorify God.
Thanks again for all your prayers and your wonderful notes of encouragement. My email was flooded and I was overwhelmed by your love and support.
