"Mom, Can I Text Girls Now?"

I know I said that my next blog post would continue to talk about my trip to New York.  Sorry - putting that on hold for today.  I've been working through some things the last few days and feel the need to "work it out" here.  Funny how my blog becomes therapeutic at times.


Jarod turns 14 on Sunday.  I know, right?  Still wrapping my mind around it.

He is in the 8th Grade and is turning pretty little heads at school.  Last year he was smaller.  His hair was long and shaggy.  He had glasses.

He totally morphed over the summer.  He grew several inches, got contacts, cut off all his hair and his voice is cracking. Suddenly, this young man is living at my house, eating all my food!  It's nuts!

So - this is all normal, right?

Right.

Did I mention the girl part?

I know this is normal too but I will admit that it has struck a bit of fear in me and has even taken me a bit off track.  

He came home this week and asked me if he can text girls.   UGH!  Now I will tell you that he is talking about his friends.  We haven't seen much of the other yet - although I know it will come soon enough.

So - why is he asking this?

Let me back up a bit and explain -

We are "those parents" who did not allow him to have a cell phone until WE needed him to have one.  Entering Jr. High and coming home a few days a week to an empty house (because I'm running Anne to dance, etc.) constituted us needing him to have a phone.  Especially since we did away with the land line to save money.  I think he was one of the LAST ones in his age group to have a phone.  Not even kidding.

He still does not have a Facebook account.  He hovers over mine a lot but we just haven't felt like him having is own is necessary at this point.  So much drama happens via Facebook and teens.  Gosh - I think many adults still need to learn that some things just don't need to be talked about publicly.  So many things to misunderstand.  So many things are lost in translation!  (Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice)  Call me old fashioned, but some things need to be saved for real, live conversation.  Or at least a Private Message.  Throwing a bunch of teens (who are still maturing socially and trying to figure out who they are) into the mix can be dangerous.  Ya - he'll be the odd man out on that one for a little while longer.  Besides - some things are rights of passage.  We want him to appreciate the freedom and the responsibility of it all.

So - all of that being said - we also told Jarod that he was limited to who he could text/talk to. Mostly boys only.  A few girls (that we know) from church.  He's done pretty well at adhering to this rule.  The main reason it was made is because we don't know these girls.  I really am in protection mode.  It only takes one forward girl and a few texts or photos for the entire thing to get out of hand and Jarod be caught up in something that is over his head.

He and I have gone back and forth about this a bit this week.  I even got the "mom, I'm not a kid anymore - I'm 14" speech.

Nice!

I guess 14 is the new magical number.  I thought it was 16 or 18.  Anyway - I digress.....

Then, someone posted this blog on Facebook

FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

I liked it.  I felt like it validated my points.  I even made Jarod read it. (So he would better understand where I'm coming from -- and -- that I'm not the ONLY crazy, protective mom in this world)

Then I got on Facebook this morning and someone wrote this one in response:

Dear Mrs. Hall, Regarding Your “FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)”…

And I will have to admit that some of her points were just as valid.

We may see Facebook pages, posts, photos, etc. but do we really KNOW what's going on with that particular person?  Who are we to make such a blanket statement - shut her completely out - without knowing more.  There is ALWAYS a back story people!  ALWAYS!!!! 

But at the same time, I think we should monitor things like this.  We are allowed to have certain standards in our family.  If a movie or TV show doesn't hold up to certain standards, we don't allow it in our home.  We have control over that.  Why should the computer/Facebook be any different?  Jarod has watched me block people on my account because several of their posts were completely inappropriate.  (not just one - they were given grace)

So - where do I find a balance as a parent?


Then - there was THIS blog -

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son - See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.96RN0i43.dpuf

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between Father and Son

Oh my!  How perfect!  It's not about my policing these girls.  Shaming them - expecting them to live up to a crazy high standard and not allowing them to fail at some point.  It's not about my locking Jarod in a closet until he's 35 - although I have been very tempted!

It's about my teaching him.  My loving on him.  My modeling a Godly relationship with Russell in front of him.  It's about having those hard conversations.  Being available to listen, correct and not judge or condemn.  It's about trusting God with my son and the people that He brings into Jarod's life - knowing that ALL of it is part of his journey - his life lessons.  It's talking to him about this stuff and praying that he will recognize it for himself as time goes on.  I don't want to be the "morality police."  I can trust the Holy Spirit in his heart for that and then be there to reinforce what his heart is telling him.

Now, I'm not at all saying that I'm throwing up my hands and giving him full freedom.  That would be ridiculous and irresponsible on my part.  He is still 14 - he still needs a mom and a dad to walk with him through all of it.  But he is our focus - not all this external stuff.  His heart - his mind.  His reactions.  His responses.  Our job is to parent HIM - not everyone else.

We will move forward - s-l-o-w-l-y.......

I've known all this and feel confident that we've been doing this all along.  I just needed a bit of a reminder.  There was just something about the words, "Mom, can I text girls now?" that threw me off  a bit.  Go figure.......

He is noticing the new attention he is getting because of his new look.  He's not real impressed.  He told me, "If they only like me because of my new haircut and contacts, and not for me as a person, then they don't have a chance."

***Sigh***

I think we may be on the right track.


Until next time.....

New York, New York!!!!

I am constantly amazed at the places that God allows me to go because of Apparent Project.

Shelley contacted me in July and asked me to join her in New York this month to help represent Papillon Enterprise (the business/retail side of Apparent Project) at the New York Now Trade Show.  I was thrilled and jumped at the opportunity.

Marilyn (Shelley's mom) and I arranged our flights so we could travel to NY together.  We arrived, grabbed a taxi, and headed to our hotel in Manhattan.  Having never been outside of a NY airport, this entire trip was a huge thrill for me.

As we traveled into the city, I marveled at the size of the buildings, the mass amounts of people all living, working, eating and playing in such a concentrated area.  I tried to fathom all the sounds, smells and traffic as our taxi driver weaved in and out of craziness.  Talk about a totally different culture!

I spent the entire week with thoughts and visions from "Law and Order" as well as "You've Got Mail" running through my head.  Talk about extremes.

It was quite fun to finally experience everything that I have seen and heard on TV/Movies all these years.  Not too much was different.  We even had someone come in behind us and steal a taxi that we had hailed. We were no longer in the south - that's for sure!!!

Marilyn and I arrived at the hotel and got settled in for the night.  The next day, we took a taxi to Pier 94 to get checked in and begin set up.

Our booth - before.....

Coming along

Papillon Enterprise

"As we began to grow and hire more people, in order to follow Haitian laws, we formalized into a Haitian company known as Papillon Enterprise. Papillon means butterfly. We are growing as a Haitian company and will be showing at the New York Gift Show and privately at a trunk show hosted by Donna Karan Aug. 16 - 20.  If you see Papillon Enterprise- don't be confused! Same people, same vision, same heart to keep families in Haiti healthy and in tact! Please like our page and share about our retail products!"  

 ~ Shelley Clay

All Finished!

We spent two days preparing and setting up.  The trade show started at 10 am on Sunday morning but because our shipment got caught in customs, we didn't have jewelry to add to our booth until 7 am that morning!  Talk about some crazy, last minute stuff!  But, we pulled it all together and were very happy with the way it all turned out.

We spent the next 3 days talking to buyers from all over the country. 

 Papillon is attempting to break into retail in order to continue to create more jobs.  We were/are looking for retailers willing to not just sell the jewelry but to tell the story behind it all.  If you or someone you know owns a shop and would like to begin carrying these wonderful, Haitian made products, contact me.  I would be more than happy to send you a catalog and an order form.  There is a great selection of jewelry, ceramics, journals and Christmas ornaments - just in time for the holidays.  I can tell you that these items sell - especially when people know the story behind them and how they are changing lives in Haiti.  Not to mention, they are just downright beautiful!!!

You know, God is good.  I have always wanted to go to New York.  I love how he fulfills my dream while allowing me to be a part of something eternal at the same time.  I cannot think of a better way to spend my first time in Manhattan than representing the amazing Haitian artisans that are working so hard to change their lives - and the lives of their children.  It was truly an honor.

Until next time.... Stay tuned for my "tourist" pics of the city and Ground Zero......

New Fundraiser Ornaments From Apparent Project

Hey Everyone! 

The New Fundraiser Ornaments have been revealed! Made from the Oil Drums with the cereal box beads!!!!! :-) 

These are available for a limited time.

 Need to raise funds for an adoption, a mission trip, sport team, school? 

 Selling for $10 each - you keep $5, Apparent Project gets $5! 

AWESOME!!!!!

 From Apparent Project's Facebook Page - 

 Coming September 15 for a limited time only! 

 In addition to our regular fundraiser bracelets - we will also have a holiday ornament fundraiser available this year.

Fundraise for your adoption, missions trip, school, or sports team while helping Haitians with much needed jobs! 

Contact apparentpartysales@gmail.com if you would like to participate in this NO RISK fundraiser! 50% of the sales go to benefit your cause!

________________________________________________________________________________

Excited to see what else is being created by these amazingly gifted artisans!!!

Until Next time.......

The End of Summer

The kids return to school this Tuesday and I sit here wondering what happened to all the time I thought I had!  Where did it go? 

Jarod actually worked a lot this summer!  We are so proud of him.  In between Scout Camp, Youth Camp and other summer activities, he did not want to just sit.  So he asked me to put the word out that he would do yard work.  He has stayed incredibly busy weeding, mowing, and cleaning up yards.  Doing just about anything that is needed.  He's really done a great job and we have enjoyed watching him take on the responsibility. 

He's had a lot of changes this summer.  He cut all his hair off and got rid of the glasses.  He's grown a few more inches and is voice is squeaky.  It was fun to watch his friends do a double take at his orientation the other night - no one recognized him.  He's becoming so grown up. ***Sniff - sniff***

In the last week, I've often found myself staring at him, wondering when this young man came to live at my house.  The years are winding down and we won't have him under our roof much longer.  Then he opens his mouth, picks on his sister or does some other crazy 13 year old thing and I roll my eyes, shake my head and think - "Oh!  We have so far to go!!!"

He's starting 8th grade this week.  I don't think I will have all the ugly crying like last year - he's pretty settled and doing well in Jr. High.  I'll save that for this time next year when he enters High School!!!

Anne is entering 3rd grade and I believe she is excited to return to school.  She's had Dance Camp, VBS, sleep overs and other fun things to keep her busy but she has also had a lot of down time.  She thoroughly enjoyed our vacation this past week.

We decided to take off for a few days before school started.  Russell found a place in Central Florida that offers Free Pastor's Retreats.  We were thrilled to get away and play as a family.  We have found that we do best in ministry if we can physically get out of town for a few days at least twice a year.  Russ doesn't shut down like he needs to if he stays in town.  So we try to make this happen as often as our schedule will allow.  That is not always budget friendly so this place was perfect!!!!

Camp Gilead was awesome.  We had our own, newly renovated, apartment and because there were no camps going on while we were there - the kids had free reign! 

I think this is my favorite shot from the week!

The lake was the best!  Not to mention we had it all to ourselves - how fun is that?

 Anne LOVED the trampoline!

 Jarod taught us how to play Carpet Ball.  He taught me well - I kept beating him!  :-)

Anne was the champion at Connect Four!

And these were the best!!!!

We spent one day at Bok Tower Gardens.  I do not know how I have lived in Florida most of my life and never heard of this place!  It was so much fun!

How beautiful! 

 Although I have to admit that I felt a little "Lord of the Rings" like while driving up to this tower! 

 Way cool!

The 205 ft tower contains 60 bells that chime every hour.  Anne is standing inside what would be the largest bell in the tower.

The tower is surrounded by 50 acres of gardens and a 12,900 square foot house known as Pinewood Estates.  

  We went for a tour......

 Loved this door - reminded me of "The Secret Garden"

We paused for a run through the mist 

LOVE this!

Looking at the tower

As you can see, it was a great time!  We are gearing up now for school as we head into Fall. 

I leave on Thursday for New York City!  I'm so excited!  Shelley asked me to come and help her with a Trade Show in Manhattan.  Marilyn (Shelley's mom) will join me on Wednesday evening and we fly to NY on Thursday.  We will spend the weekend setting up and the Trade show is Sunday through Tuesday!  I'm so thankful for the opportunities God continues to give me through Apparent Project.  Each one leads/prepares me for the next.  This is going to be awesome!

Can't wait to share with you!

Until next time.....

Building a Bridge

One of the biggest things that we learned while preparing for our trip to Haiti this past March was that poverty is not about material things but more about the relational distance between those that have and those that don’t.

I'll let that sink in for a moment. 
 
Poverty is not about material things but more about the relational distance between those that have and those that don’t.

We learned that while reading the book, "When Helping Hurts" and it was also reiterated by Corrigan during a long conversation with him one evening in Haiti.

So, with that in mind, we need to figure out how best to bridge that gap.  How can we close that relational distance? 

We know that we cannot do a whole lot during short term trips.  That's why our trip to Haiti was considered a "support trip."  We didn't go there to change anyone's life in a week - but to best support the people at Apparent Project as they work every day to do that.  They KNOW the people.  They KNOW the culture.  They work day in and day out to bridge that gap. To provide jobs, to change lives.

All of that being said, Russ contacted Shelley at the beginning of the summer and asked her how we, as a church, could best support the people of Little Clarvil for Christmas this year.  Clarvil is the little community that sits behind AP.  It's where we painted houses while we were there.  It's where about 60% of the AP artisans live.

Apparent Project is not about giving hand outs so we knew that any kind of Christmas gifts - trinkets, etc were not going to be an option.  And we didn't want it to be.  Sending things like clothes, toothbrushes, etc does more to hurt the economy than help it.  We don't want to send things that can be purchased there and in turn, help to stimulate the Haitian economy.  

So, Shelley took our request and went to Clarvil and asked THEM what they really needed.  She came back to us and said that they requested a bridge.

The area behind the corn field is Clarvil.  You can see the trail that runs through the "ditch" and then comes on up the hill to the main road (which would be behind the photographer).  This area is prone to flash flooding and even during a mild rain this "ditch" becomes a raging river.  It's even more dangerous during Tropical Storms and Hurricane season.  

The people become trapped and cannot get to the main road.  Some attempt to cross and unfortunately drown.  Children fall in.  It becomes deadly.   

They have asked for a bridge so that they can cross safely during these times. So that they can continue to get to work - to school - to the market.  

How cool is that?  I LOVE how Shelley went to THEM and asked them what they needed.  Not trying to figure it out or assume something.  Shelley took it a step further and got a few estimates for the cost of building it.  Then she presented it to us.  We LOVED the idea!

Many would assume that we would take a team and build the bridge ourselves but we believe that it would be best to raise the money needed, send it to Shelley and allow her to hire workers within Clarvil and purchase the materials in Haiti.  That would be the best case scenario all around.  Not only do they get a new bridge, but they will be able to do it themselves and get paid for doing it!

We presented the idea to our church this past Sunday and everyone is sooooo excited!  We have a goal of raising the funds by December as that is when the rainy season ends in Haiti and the ditch will dry up again.  It will allow them to work without being interrupted. 

I am so thankful that God is allowing us to come along side this community of  Little Clarvil.  And I'm so thankful for the conscious effort that Shelley and Corrigan take to make a difference in the community around them by providing jobs, creating dignity and changing lives for generations to come!

I can't wait to share the progress with you!

Until next time....



Update:  Nov. 10, 2013

All the funds have been raised for the bridge!  The money will be sent to Apparent Project and the work will begin shortly!  Thanks to all who contributed!  This is exciting stuff!!!


 

You Make Beautiful Things

Want to see more of Apparent Project?  Here's the latest video produced by Corrigan.  I cannot wait to add this to my presentations.  It captures the story perfectly.

Be sure and watch to the end - the artisans each had things they wanted to tell us!  (Warning: You may need tissues - I did)




Share! Share! Share!!!!

God's Sweet Blessing of Friendship

In January of 1999, Russ and I moved to Opelika, AL.  He had accepted a position as Youth/College Pastor.  We had been married a little over a year and found out two weeks before the move that we were expecting Jarod.

I cried for days.

I mean seriously. 

Ugly crying.

Russ didn't know what to do with me.  I had never lived far away from my mom - my family - my home.  I was leaving everything I knew - everything familiar and I was so scared. 

I begged God - I mean begged him to give me a friend.  Someone I could confide in - someone who was a kindred spirit.  The very first night we were there - unloading the U-Haul, Karesa stopped by our house with her then 4 year old Kadie.  We hit it off instantly.  The other amazing thing was that Chuck and Russell hit it off as well.

Our friendship grew in the next 3 years. They were what we needed being so far from home. We spent lots of time together - even had a few sleepovers when we lost power or our septic tank backed up.  Oh!  The memories!  And then the day came when they helped us pack and stood in our driveway waving as we drove off to move home to take care of my mom.  More ugly crying. 

Over the next several years, we kept in touch - we went to Disney together, did other vacationing together, and we would travel back to Opelika over the 4th of July to catch up and hang by their pool.  We tried to get together as often as possible but the last few years have been so hard.  Our lives have remained so busy that we could never get our schedules to match.  It has been 3 years since we have physically been together.  

We would chat on the phone and catch up when we could.  Actually Russ and Chuck were soooo much better about it then we girls were.  Sometimes it was all we could do but to keep up through them.  Crazy. 

This past Wednesday night at like 10:00, I texted Karesa telling her I was thinking of her and remembering the times we had been together over the 4th.  I heard back from her immediately saying that Kadie (who is now graduated from High School) was out of town and they had NOTHING to do all weekend - so "COME ON!"

Russ and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

I called her to confirm the invitation.

And by 10:30, I was messaging our cat sitter, Jarod was folding the clean laundry and we were getting ready for a road trip!  Talk about spontaneous!!!

We got so excited it was after 2 before Russ and I fell asleep.  We were up at 7 and packing.

We didn't get to lay by the pool or see any fireworks because of the rain - but we were able to just sit around on their porch and catch up. We played games, laughed and thoroughly enjoyed being together again!

It was a much needed time out of town for us - sometimes we just need to get away and change scenery.  Let our minds forget about the day to day stuff.  Since both the guys are in ministry, we were able to sit and encourage and just love on one another.

We are so thankful for these two.  They are our special gifts from God.  He answered my prayer over 14 years ago by giving me a sweet friend, and blessed us doubly by allowing Chuck and Russ to connect as well.  And you know that it's God when you can pick up right where you left off no matter how long you've been apart!!!

The exciting part is that their oldest daughter, Jessi is getting married in November and both Russ and Chuck will be officiating.  This year, we get to spend Thanksgiving together.  We won't have to wait long at all to be together again!

Thanks Chuck and Karesa for having us!  We love you and can't wait to celebrate your family in November!