This week I have come face to face with generosity. The Bible has several things to say about being generous.
"The righteous are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed." Psalm 37:26
"Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely" Psalm 112:5
"One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:24-25
"A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor." Proverbs 22:9
There are others as well but you get the point. So what is being generous - or generosity? I had my ideas this week and found myself to be wrong. Here's what the dictionary says:
Websters Defines Generosity as:
a : the quality or fact of being generous b : a generous act
So - I looked up Generous:
a : characterized by a noble or forbearing spirit : magnanimous, kindly
Oddly enough - that didn't really help me. Generous. Generous with what? My money? My time? My possessions?
At what cost? Or is that even supposed to be a thought? I don't think it is.
I could tell you story after story of how people have been generous towards us. Especially when we were caring for my mom or when we were raising support. Even now we will receive gift cards for gas or a night out. We are always overwhelmed and completely blessed by them.
When I think of generosity - a particular family comes to mind. Over the years, they have gone above and beyond in giving their time, their money and their resources to bless us.
Actually as I sit here prayerfully thinking about this, God is recalling several people who have gone above and beyond in their generosity towards us. Bringing meals when mom was sick, sitting with her so I could go to Bible Study, giving us money to stay at a hotel for a few nights away, people showing up at my house with groceries. Bags full of items I would have never bought because it was not in our budget. Even now, every once in a while, we have a gas card show up in our mail anonymously! Having to drive back and forth to the beach so often - that is always a huge blessing! We have different friends who own lovely properties and allow us "get aways". The list goes on.
All of these, at the time they are given, are HUGE to us. I always go back to Ephesians 3:20, that "God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or imagine." All of these things fall into that category for me. God's generosity to us through others here on earth.
But what about me? What can I do? I don't own condos. I don't always have the kind of budget that allows me to show up with $200.00 worth of groceries for someone.
Back when my mother was sick and we were raising support, God did incredible things through people. I came out of that wanting to be like them. I really learned so much about giving. Or did I? I prayed that one day God would allow me to be generous to someone like they were to us. That I could have the opportunity to experience blessing others.
Being on the other side of that now, I often wonder what exactly that looks like. So I go back to my original question - What is generosity?
This week I came face to face with a family in need. The husband has lost his job. Things have continued to spiral downward for them. I won't go into details but you can imagine the financial situation they find themselves in. There are many people like that right now here in America. Please know that they are friends of ours. They are lovely people who are just in a bad spot right now. But this is not about them. My goal here is not to publicize their personal problems but to explain what I learned from them this week.
Let's back up a bit. When we were on staff with Crusade and raising our support - it was tough. We relied specifically on people donating to our ministry. If they did not give that month - we did not get a paycheck. That simple. There were 3 different months in a row where we did not receive paychecks. God taught us something different each time.
The first month - he taught us to wait on him. Not to try and fix it on our own - to just wait. Hard lesson. But, in the nick of time - we received a check in the mail for $1000.00. Awesome!
The second month, he taught us humility. He gave Russ a specific person that he was supposed to go to and ask for help. Wow! Russ struggled with that one. He went to a man, who we didn't know very well at all - a prominent business man - and had to tell him that we didn't have rent and ask for his help. Russ felt like a failure - like he couldn't support his own family. The man had mercy on us and gave generously to us and we were able to pay our rent. Again, we learned humility and that ultimately God is our provider - not Russell.
By this time I figured the lessons would be over. Right? Let us rest Lord! But no. There was one more and it was for me. The first of the month rolled around again and we had nothing. Barely enough food to get through the week and this time God was silent. I kept wondering what we did wrong. Did we make a mistake? Was God punishing us for something? (I learned here that God DOES NOT work like that - but crazy things go through your head while you are trying to figure all this out.)
Anyway - it had gotten so late that I knew I had to call our Property Manager. I so did not want to make that call. We had built a relationship with her - she was a new Christian. She knew we were missionaries - raising support. I felt like calling her was saying, "Our God couldn't provide." It was HUGE to me. But time ran out and I made the call. She was quiet with me on the phone. Asked a few questions about when we thought we might have it - did we have food, etc. I answered them all honestly and hung up.
The next day she showed up at our house with bags of groceries and an envelope full of cash and gift cards she had collected from her co-workers. I was floored! I thanked her profusely and she assured me that the owner of the house was willing to work with us and all was okay. I told her how I didn't want to make that phone call and she understood. She was beaming and she actually thanked me. I was baffled but she finally said, "I'm a new Christian and I don't know much about the Bible yet. But I didn't think that God could use me. Thank you for this opportunity because now I know He can."
She left and I sobbed! God spoke very clearly to me and said, "See, Cami, sometimes it's not about you and what you do right or wrong. I allow these situations for the people around you." Wow! This lesson wasn't about us at all! It was for her! She left our house with a new confidence in Christ. I was thankful that God allowed us to be used in that way.
So - with that knowledge - let's get back to this week. I came face to face with a family in need. I've had a variety of emotions over this. I want to be generous - I want to help. But I don't have the resources - we just came home from vacation. Vacation - now I feel guilty. Going on vacation, eating out, spending money on frivolous things when others don't have enough. And because I just went on vacation, I have less than I normally would right now.
I want desperately to go out and spend $200 on groceries and fill their pantry for the week! I want to be able to give them money to get what they need. I want to go over and above. Not because I wanted recognition or anything - I just honestly wanted to help! Wanted to fix it for them. But I can't.
Enter opposite extreme (I do that).
"I guess if I can't do this big - then I won't do anything. It's not enough - it won't make a difference - they will just laugh at what I offer because their need is so big." Wow - Satan is such a liar! He so likes to get in our heads!
I began praying about this - I call a friend because in cases like these she can straighten me out. She reminds me of my stories above. She reminds me of my emotions when someone gives to us whether it be big or small. She gives me some other creative ways to help because at the time my head is so jumbled up I can't think straight. I love her for that!
Anyway......
Because so much has been given to me by others, I always thought that when I prayed and asked God to make me generous, it meant that I would have lots of resources to give. People who give lots have lots. Right? Wrong. I was reminded this week that it is all relative. When you are on the receiving end - it doesn't matter. You are thankful for anything. I allowed the lies to paralyze me for a bit - thankfully not for long though.
I won't go into details on what I did for them this week. That's not the point. It didn't feel like much to me - but it was HUGE to them. Seeing their faces and experiencing their thankfulness and relief was enough. It really is all about obedience. When God calls you to do something big - you trust him. When he calls you to do something that you think is small - you trust him. Because ultimately - it's not about you at all - it's about Him. God sees the resources I am giving from. He knows our own needs for the week as well and He is perfectly capable of taking care of all of it. And what you think is small might be HUGE to someone else.
So what is generosity? It's being obedient with what you have. It's seeking God when you see a need and asking Him what you can do and then doing it - no matter how big or small. It's trusting Him with the outcome. How can it be too big or too little if it's what He's asked you to do? It will be perfect.
I don't know why my friends are in this situation right now. But I know this - God has a purpose. Just like our desperate situation was for our Property Manager, this week the purpose was for me.
Oh How God loves us! I am so thankful that He is not finished with me and always has some lesson around the corner.
Until next time......
