Basically, things just were not coming together smoothly. A friend told me today that when it comes to things like this, God's will is like a current. Once the process begins, it continues to sweep everything around you in the same direction. I thought that was such an insightful word picture. So many other times in our lives, when making a decision, God has just easily moved everything in the same direction and then it all falls right into place. This was not happening for us concerning Orlando. We kept hitting major road blocks. We kept asking God for "Red Flags". He would put them up and we would investigate, but nothing was ever smooth. Through a series of circumstances, He showed us that this is not His plan for us right now. God is not a God of confusion, but a God of peace. To go to Orlando would be like putting a square peg in a round hole. It just wasn't fitting.
Russ called them tonight and gave them our decision. Minutes afterward he came into the kitchen and told me that he felt a huge weight off his shoulders. He was lighthearted and had a peace. I rejoice in the answer to prayer and the confirmation that God has already brought us.
We don't know what this means, other than our "cloud" is still settled over Jacksonville and we will wait again until it moves. If at all. Maybe His work is here. For me, I think He needed to bring me to my knees, help me see some areas that He wanted to work on, and get me ready to serve Him in a new way. I needed to not only know with my head, but understand with my heart, that all He has given me (my house) is His anyway. He gives and He takes away. It all belongs to Him. It's all temporary. In the long run, I want Him to say "Well done, my good and faithful servant". I don't want to stand before Him with the excuse of a silly house. It's amazing to me how we can say with our mouths that everything is the Lord's, but once He begins to take it away, we sure start humming a different tune.
For now, in His grace and mercy, He is allowing me stay here. I thought that maybe Disney was going to be my "Icing on the cake", but now I see that the "icing" is my house. He has once again used it to prove that he "provides exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or imagine." (Eph. 3:20) He just wanted my willingness to give it up and my unwavering devotion to serve Him. He has it.
Now, I must tell you how very thankful I am for my Russell. God has blessed me with a wonderful, loving husband who seeks the Lord with all his heart. I have watched him carry the weight of this decision. I am sooooo proud of the way he handled this entire situation. I have seen growth, boldness and maturity. I appreciate his taking care of me and the kids - of having the foresight to ask the right questions, of taking the responsibility of it all. I know he has earnestly sought the Lord and that this has been hard because his desire to go was go great. But I love the fact that his desire to be obedient was and is even greater. I have a wonderful husband and I am honored to stand by his side. No matter where the Lord takes us next, I'm ready and willing. I will support his decision because I trust him. I'm excited to see what is ahead.
We may not be becoming neighbors with our favorite Mouse, but we will continue to visit often........
Thanks again for all your prayers. We'll keep you posted.......
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