Hard Lessons Learned

Last time I mentioned that God had really been working in my mind and heart this past week and I wanted to share a that with you. We are continuing our study of Moses in BSF. This is the third time I have taken this particular study and it's amazing how each time, God has taught me something completely different. It just goes to show that God's Word is very much alive and applicable to our lives today.

I have seriously been struggling with this Orlando thing. I hate the word struggling because Elizabeth Elliott said on one of her radio programs that if you are "struggling" with something you are simply being disobedient. Ouch. So - I guess I should rephrase that and say that I have been very disobedient about this Orlando thing. That's sobering.

My poor husband usually stays a few steps ahead of me on these things and has to wait for me to catch up. Leadership is lonely at times. It's probably been a year since Russ mentioned to me that he knew God was leading him back into full time ministry. I wonder if his time in "Midian"
was because of me? Now that's really sobering. I was angry from day one. How dare he suggest that we leave our church family whom we had come to love so very dearly and go somewhere else to serve. Especially since I knew in my heart that it probably would be some place other than Jacksonville. How dare he suggest that we uproot our family and move!

I thought maybe our trip to Oregon would satisfy his desire to do something different, but that was only denial on my part. When God puts a work in your heart, it's not going to go away until it is fulfilled. And Russ' desire is defintely a work of God. Oregon only deepened that desire and prepared us for now. I really hoped that we would come home, get into our routine and he would forget about it for a little while. Nope. Enter Orlando Baptist Church. Well, it has Disney World so it can't be all that bad, right? Something was still holding me back and making me miserable. I didn't even care that much about Disney - and couldn't understand why.

We spent our first 9 years of marriage living in rental houses, church owned houses, nothing that we could call our own. 3 years ago, God moved mountains, wiped out $10,000.00 worth of debt in an instant (that's a story for another day) and gave us our first home. I have spent the last 3 years painting, decorating, gutting a bathroom, buying a new A/C unit, hot water heater, landscaping, purchasing just the right furniture and pictures to go on that perfect wall. I still have so many things that I want to do to make this place just perfect. Now, God wants me to uproot and move away again.

I have dug my claws in hard and fought God on this with everything from anger to tears. All the while justifying my sin and trying to make it sound spiritual. I truly believe that after my mom passed away, God gave us a long period of rest. Problem is, it's time to move forward again and I've gotten lazy. I like my life, I like my routine, my house, my comfort zone. I like that things have been easy. Russell told me there is a difference between comfort and complacency. Once again - ouch!

This week in BSF we studied the Cloud - the Shekinah Glory of God. How it led the Israelites through the desert. When it stopped, they stopped. When it moved, they moved. Sometimes it would stop for a day, sometimes a year. Each time they stopped, and unpacked all their "stuff", they would never know exactly when it was going to move again. They had to follow or get left behind, which would mean dying in the wilderness. The fact is that the Israelites were a chosen people. Chosen by God to be set apart and eventually produce the line of Christ. They were chosen for no other reason than God's divine plan. Fact is, they were sinners. They broke the Commandments before Moses even came down the mountain with them. They were people. Just like me.

This week I have been humbled. I have had a mirror held in front of me and have not liked what I see. How did I get here? Where is my passion? Where is my mercy? Where is my compassion? Where is my love for others? I should be thrilled that God, in His mercy and compassion, in spite of my sin, has chosen me to serve Him in a new area. I am humbled that He has called me to serve, to share my life, my story, the things He has taught me with others. Instead, I have kicked and faught and whined and cried because MY life is changing. I have made my house, the very gift that God had given me, a repulsive idol. I have made my time, my ideas, my comfort, my schedule an idol. I am sickened at the thought.

Moses was willing to give up his life for 2 million plus Israelites. I'm sure he didn't know but a few intimately. And they were sinful, stiff necked people. And yet, he was willing that God take His life so that God's promises would continue through the Israelites. Where is my passion for others? Again, where is my mercy? As I have been on my knees before God this week, and asked Him to restore it, I am slowly seeing that happen. I no longer want to endure all that God is doing in my life, but I am ready to embrace it.

Our ultimate pursuit as Christians is to know Him and make Him known. We are not saved to sit, we are saved to serve. Our greatest privilege and highest purpose in life is to serve God in the work He has ordained for us. My calling in life is to be a wife and a mom and I can do that from any house that I live in. The added bonus is that I get to serve along side my husband and influence young lives. A friend told me recently that I am a military wife. My husband is in the Lord's army and unlike some who get to settle into one place and serve, the Lord moves us from place to place. Each time growing us stronger, causing us to trust Him more. I don't want to sit. If God is moving, I want to go with Him. I want Him to ultimately say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" I don't want to miss out on the blessings He has in store for me and my family because I was pouting in a corner.

We still are not completely sure that Orlando is our next stop - but we know that sometime soon we will be moving on to the next thing the Lord has for us. Our eyes are fixed on the Lord and I can now humbly say, "Lord, whatever - I'm willing!"

Anyone know someone who needs to rent a 3 br/2 bath house?

Orlando and More of Anne's Birthday

We celebrated Anne's 4th Birthday at Spring Park in Green Cove Springs. The park is right on the St. John's River and it was a beautiful 75 degree day. There is a wonderful picnic area and an even better playground. The kids had a ball.
Blowing out the candles
Leif, Anne and Maddie
Let's not forget Jarod, Zander, William and Ambury! What a fun day....Thanks to all who joined us is celebrating our Anne's birthday. She is a tremendous blessing in our lives and we are incredibly thankful for her and all that she brings to our family! Happy Birthday Anne Girl!!!!

On a different note, South Orlando Baptist Church voted today about bringing Russ on as their Associate Pastor (Emphasis on Youth). The vote went well and we are definitely wanted. Unfortunately, as all church positions go, there are more steps to be completed. Now the Personnel Committee will meet this week and work Salary numbers. Then they will contact us later in the week with those figures. So, we are still very undecided. Please continue to pray for us as we make this decision. We truly want God's will in this and are earnestly seeking Him. We are willing to go and we are willing to stay. We just need clear direction.

God has definitely been working in my heart and life concerning Orlando and I'm anxious to share it with you. However, it won't be tonight. Now that it is the new year, my business takes off like a rocket! I'm working on about 700 envelopes that have to be completed before the 19th so, I have to go get busy. I'm not complaining, mind you. I'm very thankful for the business. I was concerned because of the economy. I am what I consider to be "fluff" for a wedding. I'm not a cake or a dress so Calligraphy can easily be cut at the last minute if you are watching your budget. So far, that is not the case! The Lord is blessing my business and I am thankful! I will be writing non-stop between now and July even if we move. Thank you Lord!

Until next time.....

Happy 4th Birthday Anne!!!!

Tomorrow is Anne's Birthday Party and she wanted a Minnie Mouse Cake! Uncle Marc helped by drawing the Minnie Mouse on a piece of paper for me and then I used that as my pattern for the cake! Thanks Uncle Marc!!!! I thought it turned out Sweet! It's so fun to finally be able to do girly cakes!!!!
Happy 4th Birthday Anne!!!!!

January in Florida!

Okay - so it's in the 80's today and the neighbor kids got out their Slip N Slide. The kids begged and I relented......Really the only thing stopping me from saying yes is that it is January!!!! I just can't wrap my brain around it. But - they are having a blast!

This is what childhood memories are made of......

And then there is Russell...... This is his contribution to our madness! I guess it starts at the top! Anne and I were working on her room last week and he came in to see how we were doing.

Just fine until a certain little person was distracted by the craziness!

I love my family!!!!!!

I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!!!!

I've been dying to share this news and finally got the OK!!!! Marc and Sam called us Christmas morning to tell us that they are expecting! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I'm so excited! No definite due date yet - but they are thinking August or September.

Please pray for an easy pregnancy for Sam and a healthy baby Mickle!!!! I will definitely keep you posted!!!!!!

Congratulations Marc and Sam!

Merry Christmas!

Many of you have been asking to see Anne's Castle so I posted some photos on here for you. It was the hit of the day - which is no surprise for a 3 year old who loves everything princess! I would have loved this myself! Aunt Sam and I had a great time setting it all up!

It has lights, and the clock chimes as well! Even makes that fun Tinker Bell sound!

It has completely taken over my coffee table so now we have to find it a home!

We spend Christmas night at Russell's parents house with family. Jarod received a really cool illustrated Bible. He can't stop reading it.....

Enter Karaoke machine.... Here are 3 generations joining together in song....

Notice Anne is the one with the microphone. I told you Nana created a Diva! Hee Hee!!!!

Our Anne will be 4 in two weeks! Hard to believe - the time just flies by so quickly.
We had a quiet Christmas with family and friends and we are looking forward to the next week as well. Both Russ and Jarod are home and we plan on just laying low and catching up on doing nothing!
Merry Christmas!

Away in a Manger

Anne got to get all dressed up for church today as her Pre-School class was singing "Away in a Manger" during the worship service.

She did pretty good - you know how it goes with 3 year olds. Too cute for words. Of course, she kept trying to get closer and closer to the microphone. Her teacher kept making her get back up on the steps. Anne kept trying to lean over into the mic and was getting very frustrated with her teacher. Finally, during the song, she announced that, "My Nana says you have to sing close to the microphone!" I'm afraid Nana has created a "Diva" as she has recently introduced Anne to the Karaoke Machine!

Russell helps sing with the Praise Band.....

Anne made lambs ears in her class today while learning about Baby Jesus. Goes with the dress, don't you think?

Finally, tonight we got together with several of our Pathway friends for a Christmas Party. What fun and laughter and great fellowship! They have been such a blessing to us and we truly consider them our closest friends. We are so thankful for each family and what they mean to us. It has been our joy and honor to share our life's path with them and they each are so special to us!

A few of the kids.... Zander, Anne, Maddie and Jarod

The Bennett Family!

Marc & Sam! Somehow I missed Jon and Shanon! Sorry guys! And of course we missed seeing the Kolb's and the Edwards! Hope the Open House went well Charlotte!

Until next time......