9/11

We can all remember what we were doing that day.  How our country stopped and glued itself to any television in sight for days.

Jarod had just turned 2 and we were living in Opelika.  He and I were traveling to Montgomery for my first day of BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) for that year.  Russell called me on my cell phone to let me know that a tower had been hit.  That there had been an accident.  I prayed for the people involved, turned off my phone and went into Bible Study.  The rest would become known when I got home at lunch.

I sat watching the television, with tears, wondering who and how and why like the rest of the country.  It was surreal.  Our country was changed that day. 




I finally made it to Ground Zero three weeks ago.  Marilyn and I had half a day to "play" and see more of New York before we boarded our planes to come home.  The September 11th Memorial was our goal.

Walking to it is a bit overwhelming.  When you walk down the same narrow streets where you watched people running as the towers fell.  Being covered in the ash - having no where to really go.

You pass the Fire Station.  So many courageous men, who were there immediately to help.  Who never came back.

 Memorial Wall for the First Responders

Humbling

As we continued our walk towards Ground Zero, we also passed St. Paul's Chapel.  This church was built in the 1700's.  It even has a pew inside where President Washington sat.  

Literally across the street from the two towers, this church was un-damaged from the collapse of the buildings.

 It served as a respite for the workers who were helping in the clean up in the months after.  This church provided food and a pew to sleep on.

Amazing to me how God preserved this little building right in the middle of such chaos.

One tree in the courtyard fell.  And it fell in such a way that it didn't damage one headstone.  Everything was preserved.

Incredible.

 Being in New York for the first time ever, I was able to experience for myself just how tall and over powering the buildings are.  And it is quite common to see planes fly over all day with the airports close by.

I know how helpless and vulnerable we felt watching all of this unfold on TV - being there put a totally new perspective on that.  The fear, the chaos, the unknown - it had to be completely overwhelming.  My mind cannot grasp it.

These memorials are beautiful.  They are massive as they are the foundation of the buildings.  There are two of these.  One for each tower.

Engraved forever around each of the fountains, are the names of the men and women who lost/gave their lives when the towers fell.

 Surrounded by quiet visitors, it was a surreal experience.  I couldn't hold back the tears.

Marilyn made the comment that "These are our scars."

How true.

The fountains run deep - and in the very center, they drop even deeper.  No matter what angle you are at, you cannot see the bottom.

John Ogonowski

We will never truly grasp how deep these scars run throughout our country.  People who lost friends, family members.  Most people know someone who was affected in someway.  

I have remained in contact with my 7th grade math teacher all these years.  Her brother, John Ogonowski, was one of the pilots on American Airlines Flight 11 that went into the North Tower. 

We all have a story we can share.



So very thankful for the opportunity to have visited this place.  To see it in a new way.  To remember and yet experience the strength and resilience of our nation as they rebuild.

So many things still yet to come.  They have finished one of the towers, are completing a museum that will open in the Spring of 2014 and are continuing to work on the rest.

Thankful for the men and women who are working so hard to make sure that we will never forget.


Until next time.....

"Mom, Can I Text Girls Now?"

I know I said that my next blog post would continue to talk about my trip to New York.  Sorry - putting that on hold for today.  I've been working through some things the last few days and feel the need to "work it out" here.  Funny how my blog becomes therapeutic at times.


Jarod turns 14 on Sunday.  I know, right?  Still wrapping my mind around it.

He is in the 8th Grade and is turning pretty little heads at school.  Last year he was smaller.  His hair was long and shaggy.  He had glasses.

He totally morphed over the summer.  He grew several inches, got contacts, cut off all his hair and his voice is cracking. Suddenly, this young man is living at my house, eating all my food!  It's nuts!

So - this is all normal, right?

Right.

Did I mention the girl part?

I know this is normal too but I will admit that it has struck a bit of fear in me and has even taken me a bit off track.  

He came home this week and asked me if he can text girls.   UGH!  Now I will tell you that he is talking about his friends.  We haven't seen much of the other yet - although I know it will come soon enough.

So - why is he asking this?

Let me back up a bit and explain -

We are "those parents" who did not allow him to have a cell phone until WE needed him to have one.  Entering Jr. High and coming home a few days a week to an empty house (because I'm running Anne to dance, etc.) constituted us needing him to have a phone.  Especially since we did away with the land line to save money.  I think he was one of the LAST ones in his age group to have a phone.  Not even kidding.

He still does not have a Facebook account.  He hovers over mine a lot but we just haven't felt like him having is own is necessary at this point.  So much drama happens via Facebook and teens.  Gosh - I think many adults still need to learn that some things just don't need to be talked about publicly.  So many things to misunderstand.  So many things are lost in translation!  (Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice)  Call me old fashioned, but some things need to be saved for real, live conversation.  Or at least a Private Message.  Throwing a bunch of teens (who are still maturing socially and trying to figure out who they are) into the mix can be dangerous.  Ya - he'll be the odd man out on that one for a little while longer.  Besides - some things are rights of passage.  We want him to appreciate the freedom and the responsibility of it all.

So - all of that being said - we also told Jarod that he was limited to who he could text/talk to. Mostly boys only.  A few girls (that we know) from church.  He's done pretty well at adhering to this rule.  The main reason it was made is because we don't know these girls.  I really am in protection mode.  It only takes one forward girl and a few texts or photos for the entire thing to get out of hand and Jarod be caught up in something that is over his head.

He and I have gone back and forth about this a bit this week.  I even got the "mom, I'm not a kid anymore - I'm 14" speech.

Nice!

I guess 14 is the new magical number.  I thought it was 16 or 18.  Anyway - I digress.....

Then, someone posted this blog on Facebook

FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

I liked it.  I felt like it validated my points.  I even made Jarod read it. (So he would better understand where I'm coming from -- and -- that I'm not the ONLY crazy, protective mom in this world)

Then I got on Facebook this morning and someone wrote this one in response:

Dear Mrs. Hall, Regarding Your “FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)”…

And I will have to admit that some of her points were just as valid.

We may see Facebook pages, posts, photos, etc. but do we really KNOW what's going on with that particular person?  Who are we to make such a blanket statement - shut her completely out - without knowing more.  There is ALWAYS a back story people!  ALWAYS!!!! 

But at the same time, I think we should monitor things like this.  We are allowed to have certain standards in our family.  If a movie or TV show doesn't hold up to certain standards, we don't allow it in our home.  We have control over that.  Why should the computer/Facebook be any different?  Jarod has watched me block people on my account because several of their posts were completely inappropriate.  (not just one - they were given grace)

So - where do I find a balance as a parent?


Then - there was THIS blog -

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son - See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.96RN0i43.dpuf

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between Father and Son

Oh my!  How perfect!  It's not about my policing these girls.  Shaming them - expecting them to live up to a crazy high standard and not allowing them to fail at some point.  It's not about my locking Jarod in a closet until he's 35 - although I have been very tempted!

It's about my teaching him.  My loving on him.  My modeling a Godly relationship with Russell in front of him.  It's about having those hard conversations.  Being available to listen, correct and not judge or condemn.  It's about trusting God with my son and the people that He brings into Jarod's life - knowing that ALL of it is part of his journey - his life lessons.  It's talking to him about this stuff and praying that he will recognize it for himself as time goes on.  I don't want to be the "morality police."  I can trust the Holy Spirit in his heart for that and then be there to reinforce what his heart is telling him.

Now, I'm not at all saying that I'm throwing up my hands and giving him full freedom.  That would be ridiculous and irresponsible on my part.  He is still 14 - he still needs a mom and a dad to walk with him through all of it.  But he is our focus - not all this external stuff.  His heart - his mind.  His reactions.  His responses.  Our job is to parent HIM - not everyone else.

We will move forward - s-l-o-w-l-y.......

I've known all this and feel confident that we've been doing this all along.  I just needed a bit of a reminder.  There was just something about the words, "Mom, can I text girls now?" that threw me off  a bit.  Go figure.......

He is noticing the new attention he is getting because of his new look.  He's not real impressed.  He told me, "If they only like me because of my new haircut and contacts, and not for me as a person, then they don't have a chance."

***Sigh***

I think we may be on the right track.


Until next time.....