Desires of My Heart

"Delight yourself in the Lord and 

He will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

Growing up it was easy to think that this verse meant that God would give you whatever your heart desired.  In reality it means that God puts the right desires in your heart.  You want what He wants.  When you delight yourself in Him, He will align your heart to His will.  How exciting this is when you experience it.

It's late - I was in bed.  For about an hour.  I have a crazy busy day tomorrow.  I should be asleep.  But this blog was circling in my head and I knew that I couldn't sleep until I typed it out of my system.  So, here I am.

I'm so excited about the things that unfolded today that I just had to share.  Like slap your mamma, pee your pants, giggly about what God has done, can't sleep excited.  You're dying to know, aren't you?  Well - I'm dying to tell you - obviously!  But let's get some background first.  Because I'm that kind of detailed person.

One year ago this week, Russell went to Haiti.  You can read about that in this post:

 

Russell's Trip To Haiti

 

I struggled a bit when he went because I couldn't go with him.  I didn't have the desire to go, but mostly I struggled because we had always done things like this together and I didn't want to miss out on what God was going to do in his life.  I wouldn't be there to experience it first hand with him.  I would have to wait and be told the stories when he returned.

 

God was more accommodating and gracious then I expected.  Russ came home and his trip touched my life deeply.  More than I could even understand at the time.

 

Even though I had not experienced the poverty and the devastation first hand, it affected me.  It affected the way I saw things around me.  When you have young children, you spend a lot of time looking down and close to you.  Now that they are older, it was like the Lord was lifting up my chin and saying, "Now, it's time for you to notice the big world around you."  

 

Only a few weeks after Russell came home and on a completely different subject (Thanksgiving, I think) through a friend on Facebook I was introduced to a blog by Heather Hendrick.  As I read further, I discovered that they were missionaries in Haiti.   I began to follow them daily as she completely fascinated me.  She is such a great writer and is so honest and real about life there and how God is working.  She can make you laugh, cry and feel convicted all in one post.  I definitely recommend you bookmark her - you won't be sorry!  I promise!

 

Anyway - I was doing some real soul searching at the time - about Christmas.  About how we, as Americans, spend our money at Christmas, etc.  In November, Heather posted this blog, Cereal Boxes = Hope 

 

I sat at my computer and wept.  This was it!  This is how I could help!  How easy was this?   This is making my Christmas money count for eternity!  Was all of this coincidence?  I know it is was not!  The events that happened next were a God thing.....

Before I knew it, I was emailing Shelley at ApParent Project asking for jewelry.  I was telling everyone about it.  I blogged about it - I put it on Facebook.  Russell even let me get up and tell the church about it.  The church began collecting cereal boxes to ship to Haiti.  Everyone got so excited!  Other friends were ordering boxes of jewelry and selling it.  People were contacting me to buy it from me.  It went crazy.  I researched the best way to ship the cereal boxes and people from all over were contacting me about it.

As Christmas came and went, the passion about this ministry only grew stronger.  Each piece of jewelry has a tag on it with a photo of the artisan who made it along with their story.  I began recognizing names and faces.  They were becoming real to me.  I followed Shelley on her Blog and on Facebook.  I prayed for each of them.  For her, for her family, for the artisans.  I continued to sell the jewelry and collect the cereal boxes.  I love to wear it and see the expression on people's face when I tell them it's made from recycled boxes.  And then I get to tell the whole story about how these necklaces are employing Haitians!  They are helping them to get out of the tents and into homes.  Helping them to pay for their children's schooling.  Helping them keep their children.  The majority of orphans in Haiti are not true orphans.  They have parents that desperately love them.  But they are poor and cannot feed them.  So in order to save their lives, they give them to an orphanage that promises them food and an education.  As a mother, I cannot even begin to comprehend having to make that choice.

So, here I sit.  Almost a year later - just as passionate about ApParent Project - if not more.  I know it's a God thing.  He has given me the desire to help this ministry.  He has placed that passion in my heart.  And the more I learn about it - the more I want to know.  I want to meet these people.  I want to see everything up close.  I want to experience it.  It's been on my brain for weeks.  But I haven't told anyone what I am thinking.  It's crazy, right?  I say that knowing the verse quoted above.  God is up to something.

Today, Russ and I shipped 5 more boxes of boxes (I like saying that) to Haiti.  These boxes are heavy and always get raised eyebrows from the postal people.  But - I got to share all about it again today with the lady behind the counter.  She lit up like a Christmas Tree!  I happened to be wearing a necklace so she could see first hand.  I was so excited!  I go to this particular post office all the time to mail my Calligraphy stuff.  They all know me in here.  I always try to avoid this lady because she has zero personality.  ZERO.  I've tried several times to strike up a conversation - be friendly.  NOPE.  All business.  Never smiles.  When I got her today, at first I was disappointed.  I wanted to talk to one of the other ladies.  But man!  ApParent Project did the trick!  I told Russ when we left that that was the most personality I had EVER seen from her.  He tried to convince me it was because he was with me but I know it was the jewelry!  How can you not get excited over it?  It's fascinating because it's made from cereal boxes and it's beautiful!

So, Russ and I get back in the van to finish our errands and we begin talking about Haiti, about ApParent Project - all of it.  How it's been a year and how much I have been involved.  How the Lord has allowed us to be a part of something so exciting.  And all of a sudden he says to me, "I think you need to go to Haiti - go to the artisan house - see what it is all about first hand." I was floored!  I told him I had been thinking about it but didn't want to just assume I could. He jokingly told me that if President Clinton or Donna Karan could just show up - so could I! HA! I am hardly of that caliber! All I know is that this is way out of my comfort zone - and that is when God does His biggest work. I knew I had to at least ask.

 

I continued to pray about it throughout the day and tonight when the guys went to Scouts, I sat down and wrote Shelley an email.  Explaining of course, that I didn't want to intrude and invite myself.  But wanted her honest opinion.

 

My heart skipped and I began to cry when I received her reply:

 

"Absolutely you can come! When were you thinking? We have lodging on site (in the artisan house).

Would love to meet you!  We are so grateful for all that you do for our artisans, it would be a pleasure to make the introduction!!"

Shelley

 

After a few more emails - we decided that February would be the perfect time for me to go visit.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Can you hear my excitement?  I want to squeal like a little girl!  Now do you understand my reason for not being able to sleep?  I get to go to Haiti in February!  I get to stay in the artisan house!  I get to meet all of these wonderful people and help out for a week.  I'm just giddy!  One year ago, I didn't really have the desire to go to Haiti.  It wasn't time.  God had a different plan for me.  February is my time.

Now, I also know that in most ways concerning this - I don't even have a clue as to what is going to happen to me.  I know that this will change me.  I know that there is a HUGE difference in seeing photos, reading blogs and being there first hand.  I have NEVER done anything like this before.  EVER. I know that I will come home different.  I know that God has an even bigger plan and purpose in this.  Part of it is terrifying.  God always does the most work when we get out of our comfort zone.  I am stepping out.  But I know it's okay. You know why?  Because God gave me the desires that are in my heart.  He has given me the great desire to go and that means He is up to something AWESOME!!!!!!  And I'm ready!!!!!

I cannot wait to tell you ALL about it!