When Shelley asked me to return with a team, I so wanted to do it right. I wanted to bring a team that would be the most helpful to them and the work they are doing there. Our team spent nine weeks in preparation by reading "When Helping Hurts - How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor and Yourself"
I will tell you - it's a difficult read. Most of us had a love/hate relationship with it the entire time. It's completely counter-cultural to the way most Christians have grown up viewing missions. There are so many things to think about. So often, we do more harm than good because we go in with our own agendas without really knowing the situations, the culture we are entering or the people there. Most importantly, we don't consult the full time missionaries that live there day in and day out for years and can easily answer the question - What can we do that will help you without leaving damage for you to clean up after we leave?
A perfect example of this was an illustration given in the book -
Missions expert Miriam Adeney relates a story told to her by an African Christian friend:
Elephant and Mouse were best friends. One day Elephant said, "Mouse, let's have a party!" Animals gathered from far and near. They ate. They drank. They sang. And they danced. And nobody celebrated more and danced harder than Elephant. After the party was over, Elephant exclaimed, "Mouse, did you ever go to a better party? What a blast!" But Mouse did not answer. "Mouse, where are you?" Elephant called. He looked around for his friend, and then shrank back in horror. There at Elephant's feet lay Mouse. His little body was ground into the dirt. He had been smashed by the big feet of his exuberant friend, Elephant.
"Sometimes, that is what it is like to do mission with you Americans," the African storyteller commented. "It's like dancing with an Elephant."
OUCH!!!! Our team did NOT want to be an Elephant to Shelley and Corrigan as we came along side them to work. They understand the culture of Haiti far better than we do. They KNOW the people that they work with day in and day out. They have been there since 2009 building relationships with the people that live in the community around them. They know where their faith is and how best to minister to them.
If we are truly honest with ourselves, the majority of Short Term Trips are more for us than for the people we are going to "minister to." We really fool ourselves into believing that we can do this HUGE life changing thing for people in a foreign country after only spending a week with them. Especially when another team will come in right behind us.
We go wanting to have an experience. We go wanting to come back and tell all about the "great" things we did for these poor people who could not do for themselves. We want to feel like we did this amazing stuff for people we really don't know and may never see again. We leave thinking more about them then they do of us. We pat ourselves on the back and think we a "super Christians" because of it. And this is only compounded by the Christian Community here in the states wanting to know how many people were witnessed to - how many got saved, etc. It's so very complicated.
We learned that it is so important to walk into a trip knowing that we were going to support the people who are already there. We needed to ask them what would be the BEST thing for us to do - and then TRUST them with what that is - putting our own agendas aside. Knowing that whatever they asked of us may not seem all that important to outsiders looking in - but it would help them to best do their job as they live there on a permanent basis.
All of that being said, we began the planning of our trip by asking Shelley and Corrigan how we could best support THEM and their ongoing work with Apparent Project. How could we help them do their job better?
Apparent Project has grown so much in the last three years that they needed to expand. The house next door became available and Shelley and her family were going to move into it and allow the artisans to overflow into the house they are currently living in. I was amazed at how every space in the three story artisan house is filled with people. The move was needed.
This new house meant Keziah (their 9 year old) was going to have her own space for the first time ever. When the Clay's first moved to Haiti, they all lived in one room in the orphanage they worked in. They have sacrificed so very much to live in Haiti. Their kids sacrifice so very much. And now that Keziah is becoming older, she is more aware of the sacrifices being made. As you would expect, Shelley and Corrigan desire to be obedient to their calling and still maintain some sort of "normal" for their family. They work very hard to protect their kids from so many different things. They deal with drastic circumstances day in and day out - things that we in America cannot even begin to imagine or understand.When Shelley contacted me about giving Keziah a room makeover - I was thrilled! And honored that she would intrust something this personal to myself and our team. I have spent some time with Keziah - especially when I attended the Board Meeting in January. We had several times where we would sit on the couch at her Magar's (Grandma Marilyn's) house and just chat. Being so close to Anne's age, I loved her immediately. She is a sweet, sensitive and smart girl who has a great weight on her shoulders as she watches her parents maneuver through life in Haiti. She is really a remarkable young girl.
Corrigan is an artist - they could have easily done what we did themselves. But they are so very busy and exhausted by the end of the day. Our team, coming in and doing this, not only took a huge load off of Shelley and Corrigan as far as time but also made Keziah feel incredibly special and loved by one of the teams who came to visit when usually the fuss is always made over the Haitian children.
Before
After
Everyone on our team had something to do with the makeover.
Mdm Bessa helped make the quilt for the bed. First quilt done by the Apparent Project Seamstresses. We brought the fabric with us, Shelley gave her instructions and she went to work and did a fabulous job.
When Shelley asked if we could do murals of a tree and animals on the walls - I knew exactly who to go to. Zoe has this natural gift and she went to work immediately designing what she wanted to do. She packed her ideas and her detail brushes. She and Joy spent many hours creating the details on the walls.
Keziah had mentioned to her mom that she would love to have her name really big on the wall in hot pink. Before I left, I designed a decal with my Calligraphy and my friend Lauren put a rush order through for me. Zoe added some butterflies and it came out perfectly!
We kept this a secret all week. Poor Keziah couldn't come to the second floor of the house. When it came time for the reveal, she couldn't hardly stand it.
Finally - we opened the door......
And she was speechless!
I couldn't help but get teary. I knew how very much this meant to her - but also to Shelley.
I have never received a bigger hug! She even asked me if I could breathe! She was trying squeeze the air out of me.
Keziah and Zoe
Shelley went looking for Keziah that night at at 8:00 she had already put herself in bed and was sleeping in her new room. This is also a huge step as the kids have all slept with Shelley and Corrigan since the earthquake. This room is a symbol of continued healing for Keziah - for all of them.
Supporting people like Shelley and Corrigan - those who give up soooooo much, who endure things we cannot even imagine. Who are knocked around and drug through the mud and yet keep loving the people they come to serve. These people need ministered to also. They need loved on. They need supported in practical ways - not just monetarily or even prayerfully from a distance.
As I have gotten to know Shelley and her family - I have watched people judge them, walk away from them, misunderstand them. I have watched her life be threatened, the artisans steal from her and from each other. I've watched her take two steps forward and then something will happen and it feels like she falls four steps backwards. Yet each and every day, she gets back up and shows these people unconditional love so that she can impact their lives in a mighty way. She learns from them and their hardships but also impacts them with the love of our Lord.
The one thing that the Lord has made very clear to me is that she (and the entire Clay family) need us to show them the same kind of unconditional love. To come along side and encourage, love, support, listen and try our best to understand even when we don't.
I received this note from Corrigan after we left yesterday -
We feel like Keziah is particularly sensitive to the risks and
sacrifices associated with living in Haiti and for the health and
longevity of our work here we felt like doing something to honor Keziah
and make her feel special was really important. We also know that we
are the ones who will truly carry forward relationships with Hatians
that have depth and last.
Keziah loves her room... I don't think I'll be able to get her out of
it! Things like good education for our kids, good friends, visitors
that make them feel more normal while usually they are minorities, all
that puts wind in our sails to keep going through the harder stuff. I
am really thankful for your visit... for her room, for the kids getting
to play with Jarod (Jackson asked me where "Jerick" was today), glad to
connect more with people from your community.
I honestly believe that this room was the absolute MOST important thing that we did all week.
Thank you Shelley and Corrigan for allowing us to serve you as you serve so many others on a regular basis. You are loved.
Other blogs about our trip -
2 comments:
Being in Haiti reminded me of how much I take for granted. A normally simple task such as asking someone their name became a major event because we did not speak the language. I felt completely out of my element. Later that night, while lying on my bed, I was reminded of what it feels like to not be included, and to me this was a perfect lesson to be always mindful of how I treat others, and to make the extra effort to make others feel included. I am very thankful that my first experience of what should be called "Bridging he Distance" not a mission trip was with the Clay family. After reading Haiti Makeover Blog I could only think of one fitting statement. That is not mine but is how I feel completely.
For some of us, the world appears to provide
only a fixed quantity of each resource -
a limited amount of food, of money,
of love, of success, of appreciation.
For others, life is unlimited.
Their world expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that they contribute.
In this world-view, money that is spent
or given away returns multiplied.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This statement is what Shelley and Corrigan are, all about others and what they can do for them.
"Bridging the Distance"
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