Confessions of a Closet Cat Lover

Okay, So I know in my last few posts I stated VERY clearly that Meggie will NOT come inside the house - EVER! Seems I was very emphatic on that point.  Well, I lied.   I know, I know - you are laughing at me.  Probably that diabolical, I told you so laugh that my husband has had the last few days.  Hmph!  I guess it was meant to be. 

A week ago Thursday, we took her to the vet and had her spayed.  When we brought her home, she was just so pitiful that I couldn't leave her outside in a kennel, alone.  So, we brought her inside.  She spent a few days recuperating in our Bonus Room.  We quickly realized that all she wanted was to be rubbed on and held to help her feel more comfortable.  By Saturday, she was out of the kennel and sleeping in my lap.  Needless to say, by Monday she was completely free of the kennel, had free reign of the house and found her a great little spot by the back sliding door to nap.  Oh - and she likes Russell's clean shirts too! 

How cute is that?  Anyway, we took her to the vet again yesterday to get her checked out, put on a regular flea treatment and get another vaccination that she needed since she was staying inside.  The vet was amazed at how sweet and gentle she was for having been a stray.  I think she is just thankful to be rescued and have a nice comfy home.  She is healthy and happy and quickly adjusting to her life as a Franklin. 

Now - what about the change in me?  I'm not completely sure.  All I know is that my heart has been softened by this adorable and funny creature and I like having her around.  I mentioned in an earlier blog that the Lord had been dealing with me now that I had some extra quiet time here at the house.  I think Meggie is part of that. 

One of the things that I had come to realize was how much my mother was still influencing my decisions.  Now, that is not always a bad thing. Don't get me wrong at all.  My mother was a wonderful and Godly woman and I am proud of the legacy she left me.  But, my mother was always right.  I don't mean that sarcastically or disrespectfully in any way.  She was - it was scary.  She could usually predict most things and be 100% right about it.  But that creates a false sense of security in that you are always depending on her to help you with your decisions - doing what she thinks you should do because it will be "right".  Unfortunately, it created some really long apron strings.

After almost 8 years, I thought those strings were cut.  Until recently.  I have found myself making decisions and in the back of my mind fighting my mothers voice.  Knowing full well what she would suggest and then feeling guilty because I don't think that's the direction God is leading me.  Wow!  I have given her a lot of power to be this influential even from the grave!  Wondering what she would say or do in this or that situation.  The number one problem with this is that I have allowed myself to once again get caught up in it and am now having to break free mentally and find myself.  I don't need to be worrying about what my mother would do or say in a situation - I need to be taking these things to the Lord and then simply be obedient in what he shows me to do.  It's that simple.  Or is it?

My mother did NOT like animals.  Especially cats and dogs. She didn't like the mess or the responsibility of them.  She tried it a few times when I was little, but we never had a dog longer than a month at a time.  Then it would have to go.  It wasn't until Marc brought home a rescued parakeet that she allowed herself to get close to an animal.  We always laughed at her - she loved that bird.  So, like my mother, I have said no to my kids each and every time that they have asked for an animal.  Except a fish -but who gets attached to a fish?  Anyway - like my mother, I don't care for the mess either.  They are a lot of extra work. 

Enter Meggie.  Now, she's been around our house for a while - but has been completely ignored.  Well, by me anyway - not the kids.  I have been too busy!  I haven't been home for the last year.  There was absolutely no time to care for or even think about adding an animal into our craziness.  Then the Lord allowed me to stop.  And I kept noticing this cat.  But I can't do anything about a cat!  I have ranted and raved too long about not having an animal.  "We will NEVER own an animal - so quit asking" or "Well, when you grow up and have your own family and your own house - you can have one but there will NOT be one in MY house."  Ugh!  My poor kids.   You should have seen the looks on their faces the day I told them I fed her!

So - what about my house?  What about my furniture?  What about the very clear line I have drawn all these years?  What would my mother think?  Why have I been so adamant?  Is it because I really don't like animals (I like other people's just fine) or is it just because my mother was so adamant?  I owned my own Parakeet when I was single.  I loved that bird.  I was willing to take on the mess and the responsibility because I had the time to.  Maybe it's been a timing thing.  I don't really have an answer to all these questions right now.  I just know that I wasn't looking for a pet - but Meggie came looking for me.  In a mere 2 weeks, my heart has completely softened and now she lives in our home and sleeps at the foot of my bed.   I think she may be the final string on the apron that needed to be cut.  I am continuing to find myself - to get to know me.  I'm just excited that God is still working in my life - in my heart.  We are always growing and changing.  Mercy has never been a real strong point for me so maybe God is working in that area of my life as well.  I think that maybe there will be many more lessons concerning Meggie and I'm anxious to see what they are.  In the meantime, I'm going to go play with my cat.......