This Guy......

In our house, we celebrate Spiritual Birthdays. That day when the kids gave their life to Christ. For Jarod, it's been 13 years today.  He was exactly 4.5 years old.  I was worried at the time because that seemed so young, but spending the majority of his little life around my mom who was dying of ALS, there was so much more talk of heaven and Jesus than may have been normally.

Jarod came as a surprise to Russell and I.  A wonderful surprise!  And after my mom died, I came to know and understand that even at the young age of 3, God had created Him for a specific purpose.  His timing was perfect.  Jarod was the light and the laughter in our home during a very sad time.  He was the perfect distraction, the perfect gift.

As the years have unfolded, and now he is approaching adulthood, I continue to see God using him in so many ways.  He is still figuring out what His future holds, but in the meantime, I am continually watching God use him in the lives of others.  His compassion, his creativity, his sense of humor (so like his dad!) and his steadfastness in his beliefs make me so proud.  God is shaping Him into the man He needs Him to be and I am thankful that I get to watch it all unfold.  I am so grateful for this crazy, fun loving guy.  He's my favorite 17 year old EVER.

Jarod, today we celebrate the eternal life that God has given you!  You were created for a purpose and He has GREAT plans for you!  Living in that purpose and that plan is the absolute BEST place you can ever be.  It may be difficult at times, but it will bring so much joy and peace.  Thank you for who you are and what you add to our family.  Dad and I are so proud of you and you are loved more than you will ever know!

Perspective

I can't believe how long it has been since I have sat down to write on here.  My calligraphy business literally took off last year!  What had been mostly part time with a few crazy busy times during the year went into overdrive!  It became full time and then some.  Suddenly I was working 70+ hours a week just to keep up.  Plus doing the whole mom and wife thing.  Some days I didn't know which end was up, or when I would sleep again.  I could only focus on the deadline in front of me.  My poor family!  There were days that if someone asked me to do one more thing, I would practically lose it!  Throw in a family vacation and two trips to Haiti and I'm surprised I survived!  My business always slows down in the fall and usually I struggle with it - but this year I welcomed it with open arms.  I was still busier than a normal fall, but I felt like I could breathe again.   So, needless to say, many things got put on the back burner - one of which was my blog.  Which makes me sad because I love to write on here.  It's therapeutic for me as I work through things that God is teaching me.

Which is what brings me here today.  Balancing my calligraphy, my family life, my ministry life and my personal life has been extra hard this year.  I know that God gave me my business so that I could stay home and be a mom and also help contribute to the income needed to support our family.  I also know that my priority is being a wife and a mom.  There were times this past year where I failed.  Or at least I felt like it.

God's timing is perfect.  When the kids were little, my work was manageable to do at night after they were in bed.  It didn't overlap or interfere with our days.  Now that they are older, I have more freedom during the day as well.  But I was writing all day and all night this past year.  Stopping only to taxi kids and to sleep a little.  My health suffered because of it, gaining more weight than I care to talk about and definitely not getting enough sleep.  My kids suffered as I would find myself being resentful of having to stop what I was doing to go get them from school.  Don't they know I have a deadline?  Maybe they can just walk the 10 or so miles home today!  Cooking dinner became a chore as well - so whatever was quick and easy became the norm (enter weight gain!)  Don't even get me started on a spiritual life - no time for that!  By the end of summer, I was exhausted and miserable.


By July, I was begging God for help.  I couldn't balance things on my own.  I couldn't find the proper perspective and I didn't see an end.  Enter Youth Camp.  Russ needed a woman to go and chaperone the girls cabin this year.  I just looked at him!  I had absolutely NO desire to go.  I had too much work to do and just the thought of going away for a week totally stressed me out!  I complained for weeks leading up to camp.  He stayed after me and I of course went.

It was there that God snapped me out of myself.  I have always loved working with teenage girls and I had a whole room full of them.  After the first night, I knew I was supposed to be there.  I needed the time to regroup and focus on our Father as much as they did.  I spent time getting to know them and I spent one on one time with God.  I fell in love with each of the girls and told God I didn't want the week to end.  How could I continue my relationship with them?  He whispered, "Sunday School - I want you to teach Sunday School."  Seriously?  How am I going to work on preparing a lesson with my crazy schedule?  But I had an incredible peace come over me and obeyed.

I've been teaching for over 4 months now.  Each Sunday I walk into my class with these same sweet girls and they help me keep my life in perspective.  I love chatting with them and seeing God work in their lives.  So very thankful.

Because of my busy-ness, I almost did not have my Apparent Project Open House this year.  But, when several people started asking, I decided to go ahead with it.  I'm doing so many other things for Apparent Project right now.  Mostly behind the scenes, which adds to my work load.  But because of my craziness, I was really not into the Open House this year.  Saying that breaks my heart!  5 years ago you couldn't get me to shut up about it!  Just a few years ago I was driving all over Jacksonville speaking at churches and selling jewelry like crazy!  This year it just felt like a burden.

For the past 4 years - I have sold over $4000 worth of jewelry in two days at my Open House.   My house is crowded with people who carpool from all over Jacksonville.  I have a line of people waiting to pay!  This year - my house was relatively calm and when the weekend was over, I only sold about $1300 worth of stuff.   I was devastated.

So now I'm left to figure out - was this my fault because my heart wasn't in it.  I felt too busy and didn't push it enough?  Was it the weekend that I chose?  Have I saturated my area and people just are not interested in it anymore?  My perspective has been off all year and was this a reflection of that?  Was the jewelry selling just a season for me and now because I'm doing so many other things for AP, he's shutting that door?  Why wasn't my heart in it?  Am I focused on too many other things?  Has Haiti become no big deal to me?  (Something which I prayed would NEVER happen!)  Funny how here in America you can get so easily caught up in your own life and it's normal.  It's accepted.  It's almost expected.  But I don't want that to be me.

God spent weeks - months working on my heart 5 years ago to put His passion in me.  To give me this assignment.  I do take it seriously.  I love Haiti and the people that I have met there.  I'm so thankful to be a part of what is going on to create jobs and change lives. 

Often by this time of year, I begin to feel a bit disconnected.  Only going to Haiti once or twice a year makes it hard to stay focused.  To remember why we do what we do.  Out of sight, out of mind, so to speak.

Wednesday evening, I got on Facebook and saw this -

"One of the precious twins in the daycare, Darline died today. Cami Franklin and I first met her on a walk in the neighborhood when she was just born living in a tin shack and in a horrible situation with four sisters and a mom with no job. We gave her mom a job, fixed her broken leg and have watched her grow into a precious toddler. They asked me if I wanted to come see her body in the shack a stones throw from my house. I knew I couldn't handle it. Fighting poverty is full of sadness... but still worth it. RIP Darline... map we ou anko!!! This was the day I met her..."

I will never forget this day.  I had just arrived at Shelley's hours before and we went for a walk in the neighborhood.  One of the artisans had given birth to twins and we went to visit.  I walked up the hill with Shelley's kids and when I came down, here was Shelley holding two new ones!  I snapped this photo as it just shows Shelley's heart clear through.  It's always been one of my favorites.

The sweet mom looked so tired and took us back to her house.  It was an area of Little Clarvil that I had never been before.  A shack of a house with a tin roof and no windows.  A dirt floor and one bed in the corner.  No other furniture.  It was so dark in there that Shelley had to use her cell phone as a flashlight so we could see.  I was glad it was dark as I was working hard to hold it together.   There were a couple of dirty blankets on the dirt floor in the other corner.  Four other children lived in this little house and our hearts broke.  Shelley gave this mom a job and the twins were in our daycare the next day.  This was February of 2014.

This family had been doing so much better!  The twins had grown into busy little toddlers and were doing well.  Then to find out this week that Darline had died.  Of a virus that here in the states would have been so preventable.

I sat and sobbed.  I had met her.  I had held her.  I helped with the organization of the daycare so she had a safe place to be.  It still wasn't enough!  This definitely snapped me back into perspective!  THIS is why I do what I do.  THIS is why I sell jewelry even if I think I am too busy or too tired or whatever excuse I can come up with!  THIS is why I am on the Board of Directors.  THIS is why I work on so many things behind  the scenes.  THIS is why I promote our Party Boxes and Fundraisers on Facebook.  THIS.  Just This.

I was grumbling about $1300 - but you now what?  That's $1300 more than they had before.  The fight, the passion, the push - it HAS to continue.  Families are at stake. Lives are at stake.

I'm thankful that God is faithful.  He has answered my cries for help and He is allowing me to gain the proper perspective again.   He sent help with my diet and organization, but that is a blog for another day!

As the new year quickly approaches, I pray that I can maintain the proper perspective and keep a balance with ALL that God has placed in front of me to do.  I don't know what the next year holds, but I want to make sure that my focus is in the right place.  I want my attitude to be centered on God and what He has for me in the moment.  He allows everything in our life for a purpose.  There are lessons to be learned as well as the opportunity to know Him better.  I want to snuggle in and learn from the Master.

Until next time......

Redemption

Haitian prisons are not like what we are familiar with in the U.S.  Often there are dozens of men crammed into a tiny cell with no where to sit or even lie down.  They do not receive food or other basic essentials unless someone in their family brings it to them.  Because so many are poor, it is too much of a burden for their families and they are abandoned, leaving them with no hope.  Many die before ever receiving a trial.


Over a year ago Shelley was approached by a UN officer who was working in one of the newer prisons and asked her to help improve the lives of prisoners in Haiti.  He wanted them to do some job skills development with a handful of prisoners to give them a little money, some hope, and some dignity.

She gained permission to go in with a few of her employees and train them in rolling the cereal box beads.  Chavanne Timil, (in yellow) is the manager of the Prison Program for Shelley.  He is in and out of the prison several days a week.  He brings them the already cut cereal box strips, the sticks to roll them on and the glue.  He makes sure that everything is being made to AP standards and when they have finished their work, he brings back the rolled beads so they can be varnished at AP.

Chavanne, Marilyn and I outside the prison this morning.

Chavanne with one of the bead rollers.

After a year and a half, they have 70 prisoners in the program and we were able to pay them a visit today.  This was an extra special treat because it takes a lot of coordination and effort to be able to go in.  Especially since Shelley was bringing two extra people.  I will have to say that I was both nervous and excited as I did not know what to expect today.

After walking through several check points and down quite a few hallways, we climbed a set of stairs to a large room where the men were already working away.  They spend 23 hours a day in their cells and can roll beads there but they are allowed an hour to come and work together in this room.






These particular men were chosen to be in the program because most all have life sentences.  And all of them have been abandoned by their families.

This means no one is helping them.  They have no one bringing them the things they need and no money to buy them.  The bead program allows them to earn money and they are so very grateful for the work!

It was so fun walking around and seeing the awesome job they do on the beads.  They were just beautiful.  I learned today that a large percentage of these beads are used for our fundraiser bracelets!

I fought back the tears today as this man stood before Shelley and thanked her over and over again for the opportunity to work.  He spoke English and was speaking for all of the prisoners when he said, "Thank you so much for this work!  You don't know what this means to all of us.  It allows us to buy toothpaste, soap, food and other necessary items.  We are just so thankful and we do not want it to end."  Shelley let him know that the only way that she would stop the program was if the government made her stop.

This is another young man serving a life sentence.

Marilyn made her way around the room to personally thank each of the men for their work.

I've known all week that I would be visiting here today.  I was so worried that I would be overwhelmed by the circumstances of these men.  Worried that I would become one big emotional puddle.  

I worried about that the very first time I visited Haiti - 3 years ago.  I remember walking through Clarvil for the first time and being pleasantly surprised by the hope and the dignity I saw there.  They had jobs - they were proud that they could provide for themselves.

I saw that same hope today.  I wasn't fearful or overwhelmed with sadness.  I was overwhelmed by the dignity.  The hope.  The gratefulness that was in that room.

Shelley got their attention and publicly thanked them for all of their hard work and let them know that they were doing a great job.  As she turned to leave, the men stood up and were clapping for her.  

It is an overwhelmingly joyful thing to be a part of this redemption.  God is truly at work in this place.  Lives are changing!

He's Not Finished

Our amazing view tonight!  We were able to take some time away from the city and enjoy one of Haiti's beautiful beaches for the weekend.  Such a great place to unwind, chat, and do some brainstorming.

It seems I have become rather reflective this trip.  I have often found myself pondering the last 4 years.  It's a bit overwhelming.......

So.....

Apparent Project began in the fall of 2009 with 4 women.  Now there are over 300 artisans who have steady employment.  Shelley has a goal to one day employ 1000 people.  I honestly believe that can happen.  Actually - I believe she will go beyond that.

But how?  How do you keep growing?  Keep providing jobs?  Keep the products new and marketable?  Shelley spends a lot of time figuring all of that out.  Trial and error - hit and miss.  Navigating in and around a completely different culture.  Dealing with things that we cannot even begin to imagine.

So how can Apparent Project come along side Shelley and help?  How can we promote the artisans?  How can we help her help them?  We already have the party boxes.  And the fundraisers.

Last year we began the Daycare Center.  Providing a safe place for the most at risk moms to put their children.  We are watching the babies grow and flourish!

We also began API (Apparent Project Institute).  Giving the managers an opportunity to learn English, grammar, typing and other basic computer skills.  Both of these help the artisans to not only grow personally - but strengthen their marketability and make them even better employees.

So - what's next?

What does 2015 look like?

That's one of the reasons that Marilyn and I are here this week.  To see how things are going, how they can be tweaked and what we can do next.  Lots of prayer and conversations happening.  Lot's of "what ifs" and "how abouts...."  Lots of listening to Shelley's heart.  Seeing where she is taking Papillon Enterprises and how we can help her get there.

Such exciting stuff in the works.  It amazes me that each year just gets better and better.  Yes - there are difficulties but growth never happens without pain.  4 employees to 300 doesn't just happen.  It's a God thing.

I am so thankful that I was chosen to be a part of it all.  When I look at the big picture - it's nothing short of mind blowing.  God is a big God and He loves details.  Apparent Project was birthed from God's heart  -  it's His baby.  We are just the vessels He uses to care for it and help it grow.

Four years ago - I was just poking around on the internet wanting my Christmas money to count.  Looking for ways to make a difference with my purchases.  I "stumbled" upon Apparent Project.  I ordered a party box.

My life changed forever.

I am overwhelmed to tears tonight as to where this has brought me.  The places I've been to speak.  The amount of jewelry I have helped sell.  The deep, life long friendships that are being cultivated.   But most of all - the way God has used it to grow my faith and change my perspective on so many things.

I am a different person because of it all.

God had a plan.  I followed.  It's been amazing.

He's not finished.  With me or with AP.


We are seeking His face this week as we move forward.  Won't you pray for us?

I know that whatever it is - it's going to be awesome!


Related Posts:

Day 1:  Sweet Return

Sweet Return

This trip for me only came about 3 weeks ago.  One of my jobs for Apparent Project is to write in the blog and help manage their Facebook page.  I had not been here since last June and was feeling disconnected.  Things grow and change so rapidly here and it's hard to write about it all if you haven't been around for a while.  Marilyn was coming and asked me to join her.  I knew that I needed to come and reconnect with the artisans and all the new things going on here.

So I spent today enjoying all the sights, sounds and smells of all that is Apparent Project and the surrounding community.  Lots of landscape changes as they are paving all the roads in the neighborhood and putting in sidewalks.  So everything looks different.  It doesn't matter though - as soon as I step off the plane, there is a piece of my heart that feels like it is home.  Each time I have come here, God has done amazing things in my heart.  There is a love that I have for this place that cannot be expressed with words.


As I was walking around Apparent Project today, taking lots of photos and seeing all the new additions and changes, I couldn't help but think about the very first time I came here.  How God opened my heart and my mind to the idea of giving people dignity through work.  Shelley only had about 70 artisans then - now they are busting at the seams with more than 300.  

Since my first visit, an entire ceramics/pottery line has been created and just in the last month new jobs were added as more new potters were trained.  A recycled glass production line is under way and beautiful things are coming from there.  The daycare has been created - it was bustling today with 15 babies!  I also got to sit in on the new Apparent Project Institute.  About 23 managers are learning how to type, learning English and Grammar and today I was able to witness the first instructional class in Excel.  Talk about exciting stuff!  So many changes and so many possibilities!

Walking around - seeing so many familiar faces.  Artisans that have been here for years - whose lives
have drastically changed.  Also seeing so many new faces - faces whose lives are beginning to change. There is so much dignity and possibility in this little section of Port-Au-Prince and I am so thankful to be here and be a small part of it.  And the exciting thing is - it's only going to get better!

Things will calm down for the weekend - we are actually going to go to the beach for a few days!  But I look forward to coming back on Monday and interviewing more of the moms and the API students so that I can share their stories with you!

Growing Pains

Parenting is hard.

I mean, really hard.

When they are young, you are tired.  You are watching them closely.  Guiding, directing.  You have the constant responsibility of making sure they are fed, had enough sleep.  That they are polite to others and learn to share their toys.  You answer a million questions a day.  All the "whys".

There were days that I swore if I heard "Mommy" one more time - I would change my name or even run away!

It's so much easier to blog when they are younger.  They do so many cute things to make up for the crazy and everyone relates to you.  It's not so easy when they are older.

Now there is this fear that you are sharing too much - embarrassing them.  Putting things out there that they may not like becoming public knowledge.  And maybe you don't either because you feel like you blew it in the parenting department.  It makes it so much harder to write about.


As we are in the middle of the teenage years - and the beginning of High School - there are so many things that I could talk about but don't.  Those bone-headed things that teenagers do - and our boneheaded reactions.  When will I ever learn to respond rather then react?????

In the beginning I was holding tight - now  I'm letting go.  This stage is by far - the hardest.

Seriously.

It involves more faith and trust than I often feel that I have.

I've been here a lot lately - thus the fact that my last blog entry was from July!

This stage also involves so much more prayer.  Well - not that I didn't pray a lot before but I guess I felt like, because they were still so little, I had more control.  And I guess I did to some degree.

Now my prayer life consists of a lot more begging and pleading.  Asking God to give me the strength to let go and trust him with my son - AND asking Him to protect and guide him since I am no longer with him 24/7.  He is becoming his own person with his own thoughts and opinions.

The things that I see in him involve the heart.  And unfortunately, often it is easy to focus on the negative.  The things that you know need to change - but that change can only come from God working in his heart.  Not his mom giving him a lecture.

For the past several months, I have been really praying that God would draw him in.  And that he would grow his faith.  This is probably one of the most scariest prayers because I look back on my own life and I know that my faith grew/grows the most in trials and difficulties.  No one wants to watch their child go through difficulties. We want to protect them from them.  But - is that really helping them? 

Jarod was handed a huge blow this week.  I won't go into details in order to keep his privacy and because this involved another family and I don't want to distract from their great loss.  But I will say that I knew immediately that this was part of what I had been praying for.  I also learned that this wasn't just about Jarod's faith growing - but mine as well. 

As I sat many times crying with him this week, I just continued praying that God would use this in his life.  

I watched him grieve - but I also watched him stand tall and do the difficult things that he never had to do before.  I heard from others how Jarod had affected them positively and the impact he made.  I learned what an encourager he is to his friends and I could see how God has been using him.  I watched how he would analyze a situation before getting involved.  How he had the wisdom to speak up or stay quiet when needed.

He handled this with such strength and maturity for a 15 year old.  As I watched, I could see God working.  I could see God using him.  I could see God growing him.  I could see God answering my prayers and for a brief moment - letting go didn't seem so scary.

When Jarod was entering Pre-K and I was scared out of my mind - (Pre-K - ugh!  I knew NOTHING! LOL)  God spoke to my heart and said, "Cami, trust me with him.  The things I am allowing for him (good AND bad) are so he will become the man I need him to be later."

I go back to that nugget constantly as I pray that I can completely trust God with my son.  Knowing that no matter what comes his way - it has a greater purpose.  And God loves him far more than I ever can - and that is impossible for this mother to grasp.

Today - I am so proud of this guy - and the young man that he is becoming.  And I am thankful for a God that is full of grace and mercy.  That doesn't give up on me when I fail as a parent.  And who has a purpose and a calling for my son.

Today We Celebrate You, Russell!

Tweaked and re-posted because I felt it needed repeated!  :-)

Today is that special day when we celebrate  Russell!  46 years ago, he came into this world with a passion and a purpose that has never stopped.  I'm told how his enthusiasm, his sense of humor and his love for our Lord began at a very young age.

How he would stand on the side of the road outside his house, with a Bible in his hand, and "preach" to the cars going by.  How he would carry his tape recorder around recording himself singing and telling jokes and then play them back, annoyingly, for his entire family - over and over AND over.

There are stories of catching the back yard on fire, while attempting to help his dad kill fire ants.  Stories of jumping off the roof with an umbrella like Mary Poppins, to see if it would slow down his fall.  (He says it worked!)  Stories of breaking the stained glass windows in his dad's church with a rock (on accident) and of sneaking off to downtown St. Augustine on his bike while his parents were at work, and being hit by a red tourist train! (Obviously he wasn't seriously injured).

I could go on and on - but I'm sure if you asked him, and got him started, he could tell you so many more.  I hear these stories and I laugh, but I also see how the Lord continues to use all that passion, enthusiasm and creativity in his life and the lives of those he ministers to today.

One thing that many do not know about my sweet husband is that he was born with a cleft pallet and had to have surgery when he was a baby.  Fortunately, it didn't extend to his upper lip, like most do, but did give him a hole in the roof of his mouth and caused a speech impediment which put him through years of speech therapy.  By the time he was nine, he was struggling in school, was tested and the teachers told his parents that they should find a trade school for him because he may not finish High School and he definitely wouldn't make it to college.

When he was 16 and at Youth Camp, he heard God's call on his life to ministry.  He came home, went back to school and asked the principal if he could have a room each morning before school for a Bible Study.  When I first met him, 28 years ago, he was sitting at a table, teaching through the book of John to his peers.  He has been leading ever since.  He finished High School, he not only finished four years of college, but three years of seminary to earn his Master's Degree.  He came back to the Jacksonville area, got his first full time ministry position and pursued me until I finally gave in.  

Oh how thankful I am for this man. I know that he was created just for me.  God creates all of us for a purpose and it's fun to look back over his life and see how everything has prepared him for where he is now.  He loves the Lord, loves his family and he loves the church.  He is kind and sensitive to others and he desires to lead them to a closer walk with Christ.  He is spontaneous, creative and did I mention enthusiastic and passionate?  He is human, he struggles with things like all of us, but he doesn't hide that.  He is real, he is honest and he is a man of great integrity.


I simply could not imagine my life without him!

I admired Russell's qualities long before we were ever serious.  I even told him one night on the phone, in an effort to encourage him, that he was going to make someone a wonderful husband someday.  And I really believed that!  I just had no idea it would be me!  Turns out that I'm the lucky one that got this man and all of his wonderful qualities.

I can't even begin to tell you what I like most about him.  He is everything I ever prayed for and more.  Even before he was born God knew he was my husband.  God has great plans.

Russell - today I celebrate you!

• I am so thankful that your parents were surprised by your presence because God had to add one more to  their family. 

• I'm thankful that you moved to Orange Park and had the passion to start a Bible Study in our High School where you and I would meet.  

• I'm thankful for the 10 years of solid friendship we shared before we ever began dating.  

• I'm thankful that I am that woman that benefits from all of your wonderful qualities. 

• I'm thankful for your passion, your sense of humor, your serious side, your sensitivity, your complexity, your easiness.  

• I'm thankful for you spontaneity, your sense of adventure and your desire to sit at home and do nothing.  

• I'm thankful for your leadership, for your quirks, for the way we can finish each others thoughts. 

• I'm thankful for the way you love people, for your compassion and your mercy. 

• I'm thankful for your doubts and your fears because I know you are real. 

• I'm thankful that you are always three steps ahead of me and are ever so patient while the Lord works in my life to get us back on the same page. 

• I'm thankful for the two beautiful children you have given me and for the way that you love and lead them. 

• I'm thankful that you love our Lord more than you do me because then you love me even better. 

• I'm thankful for your prayers, your faithfulness and your trustworthiness.

• I'm thankful for your restlessness and your desire to just be.

• I'm thankful for your tenderness, your listening ear and your desire to do whatever it takes to provide for us.

I'm just thankful for you.  Everything about you.  You were meant specifically for me.  I know this is your birthday - but many people have been blessed because you were born.  Thing is - I made out the best!


You have continued to use your gifts and talents that the Lord has given you for His glory.  Your desire to serve and obey our Lord is contagious.  You are my love, my husband and my best friend.  Apart from salvation - you are my greatest gift!   I love you more than you know.  Here's to celebrating many more years of "you".......

Happy Birthday, my love!   ~ Me